Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

It is true that some
people
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think that
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government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should provide free health care to all individuals,
whereas
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others say that
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government
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the government
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should invest in other
sectors
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such
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, such
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as education and culture. I think
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government
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the government
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should maintain equality in all
sectors
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for the betterment and the smooth functioning of society. On the one hand, health care is an important sector where
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government
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the government
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can provide better facilities to all sections of society, whether they are rich or poor. It will automatically help to detect
the
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apply
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diseases at their earlier stage , and the economy will become healthier than ever.
For instance
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, the COVID-19 pandemic affected a lot of
people
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, and because of that,
most
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many
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people
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lost their lives. If
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government
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the government
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had proper sources
such
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as vaccines, infrastructure and volunteers at that time,
then
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they could save them.
Moreover
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, both older
people
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and youngsters have some kind of problems like illness, mental and physical problems , which are not affordable for them.
Therefore
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,
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government
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the government
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can help them by assisting and providing free medication to them.
On the other hand
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, education is an urgent priority. Providing free educational materials to children will not only enhance their confidence but
also
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encourage them to learn soft skills as well. Education helps to make
people
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mature and sharpen their minds to stay focused and career-oriented.
For example
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, if
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government
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the government
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invest in the educational sector,
then
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the majority of individuals will become independent and open employment opportunities for others.
Consequently
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, the unemployment rate will be lower
and
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, and
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people
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can lead a luxurious lifestyle.
Likewise
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, cultural activities should be promoted by the
government
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. Mostly tourists from other nations love to visit tourist destinations , and the money they spend on buying souvenirs and entry tickets helps the society to improve its infrastructure.
Also
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, visiting one country to another maintains peace and harmony between
both
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the
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states
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two states
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. So,
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government
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the government
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should not ignore
this
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sector because Goa, Agra and the Golden Temple are the most visited places for tourists. From my own perspective, I think all
sectors
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have their own speciality , whether they are hospitals, schools or museums.
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Government
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The government
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should invest in all these
sectors
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and contribute to making essential improvements.

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strength
Your answer shows a clear position and talks about three areas: health, education, and culture, which fits the task.
structure
Be sure your intro states the exact question and your stance in one line. Your conclusion should restate your view more strongly.
coherence
Link ideas more tightly. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use simple connectors like 'also', 'but', 'however' to show flow.
examples
Give more specific and realistic examples relevant to the argument and explain how they support your point.
grammar
Watch grammar and punctuation. Short sentences are easier to follow and reduce mistakes.
content
Clear stance and three main points are shown in the essay.
coherence
Some good use of linking phrases (On the one hand, On the other hand).
content
Attempt to give examples from real life to back up points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • health care
  • free
  • tax
  • fund
  • money
  • care
  • access
  • right
  • fair
  • equal
  • wait
  • private
  • public
  • system
  • price
  • cost
  • emergency
  • basic
  • education
  • culture
  • work
  • future
  • plan
  • balance
  • policy
  • choice
  • spend
  • doctor
  • hospital
  • research
  • new
  • idea
  • method
  • treatment
  • sick
  • safety
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