IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently, a considerable number of individuals have given their personal
information
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 to technology
companies
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 to open their
applications
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 and websites.
Although
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 it allows them to
use
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 useful
software
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 and save their
work
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, I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits because
companies
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use
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 and share
this
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 personal
data
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. The main reasons that people share their
information
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 with
software
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companies
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 are to access useful
applications
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 and save their
work
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.
These
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This
show examples
software
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 helps
users
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 complete difficult
work
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 professionally and keep all steps maintained.
As a result
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, they easily edit projects and go back through the previous steps and change anything they want.
For example
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, many interior design
applications
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 assist
users
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 during the process and save each step, which gives them a chance to go through all parts of the process, especially when customers want to add or remove something.
However
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,
this
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 essay believes that your personal
data
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 must be kept private. One of the disadvantages of giving your personal
data
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 to technology
companies
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 is that they can
use
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 that
data
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 freely.
This
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 means they enter your raw
data
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 into any experiment, research or analysis and apply the results anywhere they want.
Furthermore
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, sometimes
companies
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 share their
users
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'
information
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 with other authorities, which leads to a loss of
users
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' privacy.
For example
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, most social media
applications
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use
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 our private
data
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 in different ways.
This
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 essay believes that these drawbacks are very harmful to
users
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. In conclusion,
although
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 the ability to
use
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 and save
work
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 in
software
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 which requires personal
data
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 before starting is beneficial, one must consider that
information
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 can be used and shared by technological
companies
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.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe the negatives far outnumber the positives.

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task response
Plan before writing. Have a clear view. Then give a few ideas with one example each.
coherence
Link ideas with small words: and, but, also, for example, first, next.
grammar
Fix grammar: use 'these software tools' not 'this software' and 'helps' with s.
content
The writer shows a clear view against data use.
structure
There is a simple plan: intro, body, and ending.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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