Some think spending a lot on birthdays celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is argued that many people nowadays have a tendency to celebrate various parties with a large amount of money. Some people believe that it is a rare example of frivolous spending,
while
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others are not of
this
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opinion. To some extent,
this
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could have negative consequences, but in general,
this
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is for the better.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and provide a personal point of view with clear examples. A celebration of parties has been developing in recent years;
however
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, it may require a large financial outlay.
It is clear that
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some individuals object to spending a substantial amount of money on events like these, owing to extravagance.
That is
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, individuals want to commemorate their birthdays,
for example
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, on the outside, or their wedding amusements abroad, to distinguish themselves from others.
As a result
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, these events that can be ordinary turn into lavish celebrations.
Thus
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, many believe that coming with a hefty price tag for the festivities is only a wasteful expenditure.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt, the importance of spending a lot on banquets can influence the young. Namely, society would like to boost social ties, and
this
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change has a lot to do with the celebration of special occasions. If people,
for instance
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, observe amusements with numerous colleagues, they will introduce social cohesion among their relations.
Additionally
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, the entertainments are not only held for creating lifelong memories, but they are
also
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organised to show the cultural significance of the feasts.
Therefore
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, some support
this
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statement
due to
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these reasons. In conclusion, there are positive and negative factors of
this
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opinion,
that is
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why I would say that
although
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spending more money on the banquets has negative impacts by which lead to economic implications, its profits that give a meaningful experience should not be neglected

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main point.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. This will help to make your ideas clearer and stronger.
overall
Try to avoid phrases that sound too complex or unclear. Simple language can be very effective.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points clearly and reflects your opinion directly.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is a good length and has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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