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Band 6.5

Many students graduate high school and wish to continue their studies overseas. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
The world has greatly changed, and education has become increasingly important for young
people
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. Studying abroad has become a popular choice for many
students
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 after graduating from high school.
However
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,
this
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 can be either a positive or
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 experience.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, studying overseas has several advantages.
First,
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students
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 can improve their English skills.
For example
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,
students
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 can develop their English by communicating with native speakers.
Second,
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young
people
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 can learn about new cultures.
For instance
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, young
people
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 can learn about different cultures and make friends from other countries.
Third,
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the high school graduating
students
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 can have better educational opportunities.
In other words
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,
students
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 can attend foreign universities that offer better facilities, specific courses and different educational opportunities.
Finally
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, living abroad helps
students
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 become independent and responsible.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, studying abroad has some disadvantages.
First,
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studying abroad can be financially challenging because of the high cost.
For example
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, studying abroad can be expensive because
students
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 have to pay for everything.
This
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 includes rent, groceries, books, transportation and increased tuition.
Moreover
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,
students
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 may feel lonely because they are far away from their families. They are removed from friends and family who offer support.
Also
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,
students
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 in their first year may have language difficulties.
For instance
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, some
students
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 may struggle to understand lectures because of language barriers.
Finally
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, some young
people
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 feel stress and pressure.
In other words
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,
students
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 may experience stress when adapting to a new education system.
Conclusion
In conclusion, studying abroad has both advantages and disadvantages.
Although
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 it can provide
students
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 with better educational opportunities and help them become more independent, it can
also
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 be expensive and difficult emotionally.

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task response
You answer both parts of the task well. You give clear good and bad points, such as better study, new friends, cost, and feeling alone. To make the response stronger, explain each point a little more. For example, say how a new course or better school can help a student in later work.
task response
Some examples are clear but quite general. Add one short real or made-up case. For example, a student may first find lectures hard to follow, but then get help from a class friend or a school group.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. This makes it easy to read. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your links are clear, but you use 'First', 'Second', 'Third', and 'Finally' many times. Use some other simple links, such as 'Also', 'Another point is', 'As a result', and 'For this reason'.
coherence and cohesion
Put closely linked ideas into one smooth point. For example, the cost point repeats 'studying abroad can be expensive' twice. State the main idea once, then give the list of costs and explain why this may cause a problem.
task response
You cover the full topic and give a fair view of both sides. Your main ideas stay on the subject.
task response
The points are easy to understand: language growth, culture, better study, money problems, missing family, and stress.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has a clear main idea and useful support. The ending brings the key good and bad points together.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words well, such as 'For example', 'For instance', 'Moreover', and 'Although'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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