IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 can lead to a huge success or to failure,
while
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 it is a commonly held belief that it is important for individuals to take
risks
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, both in their personal lives and professional lives. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. From my perspective, I believe that the disadvantages of taking
risks
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 outweigh the advantages.
To begin
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 with, taking
risks
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 includes numerous
risks
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 that
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 may not know about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, and can lead to financial problems and social problems.
In other words
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, people nowadays tend to take
high risk
Use the right word
high-risk
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 investments
thinking
Punctuation problem
, thinking
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 that
this
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 may give them high profits without considering the dangers
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 chances, which lead to significant financial problems.
In addition
Linking Words
, to take
risks
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individuals
Punctuation problem
, individuals
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 have to study the chance, but many people do not study, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to failure.
For example
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, a recent study shows that developing and advanced countries
forbidden
Verb problem
are forbidden
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taking
Change preposition
from taking
show examples
risks
Use synonyms
 with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own analysis
due to
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 the high number of failed projects. Another point to consider is that individuals may not have knowledge about the
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
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 they tend to take,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 it includes high risk or low. It is
also
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 possible to say that they need to acquire knowledge about any decision they want to make to mitigate
risks
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, a report shows that from 10
person
Check wording
people who
show examples
 take
Use synonyms
risks
Punctuation problem
risks,
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 one
succeed
Correct subject-verb agreement
succeeds
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 and the other
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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, which
illustrating
Wrong verb form
illustrates
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 how
this
Linking Words
 field contains significant disadvantages. In conclusion, despite people having various opinions, I believe that taking
risks
Use synonyms
disadvantaged
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
are more than the advantages.

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grammar
Fix grammar and word form. Use correct verb forms and articles (a, the) to make sense.
organization
Plan the essay: small intro, two body parts each with one idea, and a short ending.
task response
Stick to the task: state your view clearly in the intro and keep it in all the essay.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other (and, but, also, for example).
lexical resource
Use simple words and short sentences. This helps show the idea well.
examples
Give clear examples that fit the point you make. The essay mentions studies but does not explain clearly.
clarity
The overall idea is clear: risk has good and bad sides, and a view is given.
effort
There is an attempt to give reasons for the view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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