IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many species of animals and plants are disappearing from the world. ➤ What are the causes of this loss of biodiversity? ➤ What can be done to prevent it?

In recent years, the world has witnessed a dramatic decline in the number of animal and plant species.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon can be attributed to several human activities, and various measures can be taken to address it. I firmly believe that
this
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 issue has a largely negative impact on global biodiversity. One major cause of biodiversity is habitat destruction, as forests, wetlands are cleared for agriculture, housing, and industrial expansion.
For example
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, the distraction of the Amazon rainforest not only eliminates countless plants,
however
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 forces animal species too
such
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 as jaguars, monkeys, and those listed in the Red Book ,
animals
Use synonyms
 lose their natural habitats.
Moreover
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, many
animals
Use synonyms
 are hunted and killed for commercial purposes, especially for their skins, fur, and body parts used in clothing and luxury products.
Additionally
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, snakes, elephants are slaughtered for ivory.
Thus
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, many
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants are suffering from these issues. To address these negative effects, several measures can be implemented.
Firstly
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, the government should protect the natural habitats by establishing national parks, wildlife reserves, and marine protected areas, which can provide safe environments. For
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants threatened by deforestation and urbanisation.
Secondly
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, the government should provide strict laws and enforcement against poaching and illegal trade of animal skins, fur, and body parts. At the final stage, all natural habitats can be protected and save their lives from these hazards. In conclusion,
although
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 the most luxurious brands continue to demand animal skins and rare plant materials, worsening the situation, there are other lifeless products that can be an example to continue their business.
Therefore
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, sustainable practices, strong laws, and education are essential to protect biodiversity for future generations.

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task
To raise task score, clearly state the causes and the steps to stop them. Give one or two real examples for each point.
structure
Use simple links like First, Next, Also, Finally to make the flow clear.
language
Fix grammar and word use (destruction, habitat, poaching). Check sentences so they are complete.
structure
Finish with a short, clear end that repeats your view.
content
Introduction states the view and topic.
content
Body has main ideas about causes and ways to help.
content
Some examples are given, like the Amazon forest and poaching.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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