IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think hosting major international sporting events brings a lot of advantages to a country, while others believe there are more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Becoming the host of a major international sporting event has always been a goal for many countries.
However
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, I believe that the promised benefits cannot justify the immense costs it incurs. Hosts of international sporting
events
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 often see increasing revenues from tourism. During these
events
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, fans and sports lovers come to these countries from all around the
world
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 to support their favourite teams and athletes. Needless to say, their spending will contribute greatly to the domestic tourism industry.
Besides
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 the economic advantage, sporting
events
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such
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 as the Olympic Games or the FIFA
World
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 Cup
also
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 boost the country’s branding. These
events
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 signify peace, co-operation and excellence; for emerging powerhouses, they are among the rare opportunities to showcase their values. Unfortunately, before any tangible advantages materialise, the country would normally have to invest an enormous amount of money into sporting infrastructure. The sheer scale of
such
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 an event requires a large number of high-end stadiums, athlete villages and other associated constructions. The Bird’s Nest stadium, built for the Beijing Olympic Games 2008, epitomises
this
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; an architectural wonder that now stands unused, just like many others around the
world
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.
While
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 the economic benefits are still debated, the financial wastage is rather clear to the public. Not only are these
events
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 wasteful, but they
also
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 cost lives. During the 2012 FIFA
World
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 Cup in Brazil, many favelas were destroyed
and
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, and
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 the poor residents were forced into temporary shelters. In Qatar, thousands of immigrant construction workers were reportedly overworked, maltreated, and exhausted in the rush to finish Qatar’s preparation for the 2024
World
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 Cup. Humans are not the sole victims, but so is wildlife. Stadium construction clears forests and destroys animals’ habitat; building materials, meanwhile, poison the soil, the air and the water these animals rely on. Hosting international sports
events
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 is, in theory, a mark of a nation’s pride;
however
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, in
practice
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practice,
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 it too often inflicts economic, social and environmental harm. These
events
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 are supposed to celebrate co-operation
and
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, and
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 perhaps that ideal should extend to how they are organised, because no single country should have to bear costs alone.

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structure
Balance is not equal. Talk more on good points as well as bad ones.
content
Add more facts or data to back up points.
structure
Make your view clear in the first part and again in the end.
style
Use short and plain words. avoid long or hard to read words.
content
Use concrete example to show ideas.
strength
Clear view of the writer's stance.
strength
Good use of examples to show costs and benefits.
coherence
Reasonable order from start to end.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • global standing
  • cultural exchange
  • urban development
  • infrastructure investment
  • tourism boost
  • job creation
  • financial strain
  • short-term benefits
  • displacement
  • gentrification
  • operational expenses
  • diplomatic opportunities
  • modernization
  • international community
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