IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe secondary students should learn international news as a subject at school, while others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

High
school
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students
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 learn many different
subjects
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. We all know there are basic
subjects
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 that form the foundation of every profession.
In addition
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,
students
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 have started learning extra courses at
school
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.
For example
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, at my
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school
Add a comma
school,
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 we study law, business, and religion. People's opinions are divided about learning international
news
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 as a
subject
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 at
school
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. Some people believe that secondary
school
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students
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 should study international
news
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 as a
subject
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. The first reason is that it would be helpful for
students
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, because they need to choose a profession for the future. If they choose international relations, knowledge about international
news
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 will become an important factor in politics. The second reason is that
students
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 should have a broad horizon.They are no longer children; they are adults.
Therefore
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, they should be well-informed about many things.
However
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, others have a different opinion. They think that learning international
news
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 as a
school
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subject
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 is a waste of time, since many
students
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 have already chosen their future profession. They believe
students
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 should concentrate on their main field of study. Extra
subjects
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 take a lot of time, so
students
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 may not have enough time for their core
subjects
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. Because of
this
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, many
students
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 lose focus on their main studies. In conclusion, I want to share my opinion. In my view, both opinions are reasonable.
Therefore
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, studying international
news
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 should be optional. Those who want or need it can learn it, but it should not be a compulsory
subject
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. As a high
school
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 student, I can say that learning international
news
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 is not very important and does not have much meaning for
students
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.

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task response
Make your view clear in the last part. Do not say both sides are fine and then give a strong view that is not the same.
coherence
Some parts are hard to read. Break big ideas into small lines and connect them well.
coherence
Use more links for contrast and result. Words like but, yet, so, as a result help.
grammar
Check grammar and word form in sentences, e.g., subject-verb agreement and word choice.
content
Good to show both sides.
context
Gives an idea of school life and how it shapes choice.
structure
Ends with personal view and a clear stance.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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