IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that using scientific techniques is better for growing food, while others believe it is better for food to grow naturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

According to
Linking Words
 some people, the fact that scientific interventions
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more effective in increasing
food
Use synonyms
 production is undeniable,
while
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 others argue that allowing
food
Use synonyms
 to grow without any artificial techniques is more beneficial for people’s health. As far as I’m concerned, I partly agree with the view that
food
Use synonyms
 cultivation should be carried out naturally for
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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 health and the environment. There are several reasons why it might be considered that technological innovations are likely to help in growing
food
Use synonyms
 more efficiently. The first and foremost reason is that, as the global population continues to rise steadily, the demand for
food
Use synonyms
also
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 grows, which in turn cannot be met without scientific innovation.
Technology - driven
Use the right word
Technology-driven
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 agricultural methods enable to maximize
productivity
Change preposition
of productivity
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 in a short period of time.
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Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 these methods don’t require a long period for cultivation.
In addition
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, these products are durable against various environmental conditions,
such
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 as
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
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 and diseases, and they are less likely to decay
as well as
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 lose their nutritional value over time. All things considered, the techniques used in agriculture can be beneficial for
food
Use synonyms
 production.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I agree with those who claim that organic farming offers a more suitable and healthier alternative
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than
technology- based
Use the right word
technology-based
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 agricultural practices. Owing to the non-use of chemical products, soil productivity can be maintained in the long term
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 production continues without disrupting the natural ecosystem.
In addition
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, biodiversity is enhanced, as organic farming helps preserve various species of plants and animals. I think the most important factor is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 nutritional value is protected. In doing so, the antioxidant levels remain high, making organic
food
Use synonyms
 a healthier option for consumers.

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structure
Plan your essay with four parts: intro, two body parts, and a short end. Say your view in the intro and restate it in the end.
grammar
Fix basic grammar errors that slow the read. For example, 'scientific interventions is' should be 'scientific interventions are' and 'humans health' should be 'human health'.
grammar
Break long sentences into two or three small lines. It helps to be clear.
coherence
Add clear links between ideas. Use words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'because' to show why a point is true.
content
The essay shows both views and has a clear personal view.
content
The writer uses ideas such as population growth and soil health to back up points.
coherence
There are some good link words and phrases.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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