IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is a view that mass
media
Use synonyms
 networking
sites
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook have
affect
Replace the word
affected
show examples
 negatively on both
people
Use synonyms
 and society.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
show examples
 some oppose
this
Linking Words
 notion, I personally argue
as
Change preposition
that
show examples
 they have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all individuals.
currently
Fix capitalization
Currently
show examples
, social
media
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
 are commonly
Use synonyms
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 both teenagers and adults. It
has
Correct word order
also has
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some positive impacts for
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it depends on
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the person. Many
people
Use synonyms
 do not
use
Use synonyms
 it correctly
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 young adults
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 they may spend most of their time
and play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 many video games.
Also
Linking Words
, many
blogers
Correct your spelling
bloggers
 or artists show
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 happy lifestyle on
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 or
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
has
Correct word order
also has
show examples
also
Linking Words
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both individuals and society. Teenagers
wasting
Verb problem
are wasting
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more time on social
media
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, they are very addicted to
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
vidoes
Correct your spelling
videos
 or playing games
whenever
Use the right word
wherever
show examples
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they are
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 buses or streets.
hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, social
media
Use synonyms
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
Use synonyms
face to
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 communication among
people
Use synonyms
 .
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 prefer to
conversation
Replace the word
converse
show examples
 through the internet rather than
Use synonyms
face to
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
. Social
media
Use synonyms
 is popular in
todays
Check wording
today's
show examples
 modern world.
many
Fix capitalization
Many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 it
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 has a lot of good impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 instance, they can talk with their friends or relatives who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live in
foregian
Correct your spelling
foreign
 countries through social
media
Use synonyms
 like
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 and
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, it has
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 benefits
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, if
people
Use synonyms
 go
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 new places and they can easily find there because they can
take
Verb problem
use
show examples
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
.
Linking Words
moreover
Fix capitalization
Moreover
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 can read books on the internet.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 conclusion, it has positive and negative
Use synonyms
sites
Use the right word
sides
show examples
.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Therefore
show examples
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need to
use
Use synonyms
 it correctly.
if
Fix capitalization
If
show examples
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 it
truly
Punctuation problem
truly,
show examples
 it has many
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
sites
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your idea first. Start with a short intro that says your view. Then write 2 body parts with a clear reason in each. End with a short wrap up.
coherence
Make each paragraph have a clear topic sentence. Use easy link words like First, Also, For example, In addition, However. Keep ideas in a clean order.
grammar
Fix slow grammar and spelling. Capitalize the start of a sentence. Use simple, short sentences. Check word choice so it is easy to read.
content
The writer shows a clear view that social media can hurt people and society.
content
Some places talk about good uses like talking to friends in far places, which shows some balance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: