In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

To begin
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with, in many countries, parents are choosing to have
kids
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later in their lives. Which is good for the short term, and the opposite for the long term. In
this
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essay, I'll elaborate on why the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, most adults want to fully live their
lifes
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lives
without having any obstacles in their way.
This
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explains why parents want to have
kids
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later in their lives. There are some advantages to
this
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,
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;
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firstly
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, it improves the relationship , and they can spend their time wisely making memories with each other.
Furthermore
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, you can travel all over the world and live your happy
life
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.
As a result
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, when having
children
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, it may be easier to teach them about
life
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.
On the other hand
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, having
kids
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at the age of 40-50 will have a huge impact on your
life
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. Waiting for them to grow,
then
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graduate from high school and college, will take approximately 23-25 years, and another 1-2 years to start sending you money.
In addition
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, that's not including whether you'
re
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financially good or not.
Moreover
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, you'll be considered as an old man, so it'll be harder for you to help you'
re
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children
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,
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apply
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with basic tasks, like lifting heavy objects, or giving them a ride.
Thus
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, they may suffer from you being old and not helping them.
To sum up
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, having
children
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later in
life
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will have an effect on you and your
kids
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. Yes, you can live you'
re
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life
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, but having
children
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won't stop you from that.
Additionally
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, you can hire a babysitter or give them to their grandparents
while
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you'
re
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away.

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Task response
Task response: The essay states a view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, but it does not fully explain or prove this view. Add more clear points about why late child birth can be bad for both parents and kids, and give real or clear ideas to back them up.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The flow is okay but not smooth. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and the ideas should link well from one line to the next. Use more linking words and keep a steady idea in each paragraph.
Task response
The writer puts a clear view at the start.
Coherence and cohesion
There is a simple structure with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
There are some good linking words like On the one hand and Thus.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • late
  • older
  • age
  • parent
  • mother
  • father
  • child
  • baby
  • birth
  • family
  • home
  • work
  • job
  • money
  • time
  • plan
  • care
  • help
  • support
  • health
  • risk
  • problem
  • benefit
  • good
  • bad
  • balance
  • life
  • plan ahead
  • policy
  • leave
  • child care
  • society
  • family life
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