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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation
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Advancements in
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 have given
people
 the ability to live and
work
 from any location around the globe.
While
 there are some drawbacks,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 social isolation and loneliness, I believe the main benefits,
for instance
, increased job opportunities and economic growth are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage for
people
 who now have the freedom to
work
 and live anywhere in the world
due to
 the development of
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 may be the high cost of living and housing.
For instance
, in cities like New York, London, or Tokyo, the demand for limited housing significantly outweighs supply, leading to inflated prices. Another perceived negative is a strain on infrastructure and resources when a city’s population grows faster than its ability to expand and upgrade essential services.
For example
, in areas like Mumbai, the influx of
people
 often leads to overcrowded public transport, frequent power outages, and insufficient water supply.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of the advancements in
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 that have enabled individuals to live and
work
 from any part of the world with greater flexibility is that flexibility and
work
-life balance have become more achievable as remote
work
 and flexible schedules gain popularity.
For example
, many companies now allow employees to
work
 from home or set their own hours. A
further
 benefit is cultural exposure and diversity. When
people
 move to different countries or
work
 with international teams, they experience new cultures, languages, and perspectives. On balance, it is true that advancements in
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 have given
people
 the ability to live and
work
 from any location around the globe would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of increased job opportunities and economic growth override the disadvantages.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

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task achievement
Try to develop each main point with a bit more depth or additional examples to thoroughly support your argument. This will bolster your task achievement further.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that succinctly introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear, concise, and sets up the essay's argument effectively.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
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