IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. what are the advatages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It has been said that
children
Use synonyms
 can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their goals as long as they try hard enough.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 my opinion, the advantages
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
attitiude
Correct your spelling
attitude
 outweigh any negative drawbacks. First of all, sometimes parents or older people give the
children
Use synonyms
 some advice about trying hard and
Verb problem
being prodactive
show examples
prodactive
Correct your spelling
proactive
 and
seting
Correct your spelling
setting
 goals, because they are
awarnce
Correct your spelling
aware
 and full of experience about living, and
also
Linking Words
 they know
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 you
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 hard,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 likely to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 your aims.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they believe that giving
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 pep talk to
children
Use synonyms
 can make them motivated and willing to
more
Verb problem
make more
show examples
attempt
Correct subject-verb agreement
attempts
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can help them to be
strong-willed
Correct article usage
a strong-willed
show examples
 person, never
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 up on their goals and always
determent
Use the right word
determined
show examples
 to
successed
Correct your spelling
succeed
.
For example
Linking Words
,
During
Fix capitalization
during
show examples
shool
Use the right word
school
show examples
 exams, parents usually
pushe
Correct your spelling
push
children
Use synonyms
 to
forward
Verb problem
perform well
show examples
 and give them motivation and energy to
more
Correct word order
apply
show examples
study more
attempt
Correct word choice
and attempt
show examples
Correct word order
more, also
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
show examples
some
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
 times put some
insetives
Correct your spelling
incentives
 to
enqurage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to try hard and tell them
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 try
sefficient
Correct your spelling
efficiently
,
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 pass
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 exams and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 target.
Secoundly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 attitude can
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
children
Use synonyms
motivation
Replace the word
motivated
show examples
, there are genuine
cocerns
Correct your spelling
concerns
 about it. To be more precise, in some cases it has
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 to
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
discuraged
Correct your spelling
discouragement
 if they face failures or
unpredicted
Replace the word
unpredictable
show examples
 events in the future
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
propably
Correct your spelling
probably
 cause isolation and mental issues.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 conclusion, I my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should
show examples
 be a
balanced
Replace the word
balance
show examples
 between the facts of life and recommendations. I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 attitude can be productive and it has a
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
show examples
 of potential
benfitsin
Correct your spelling
benefits in
 many cases.

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grammar/vocabulary
Use clear and simple words. Fix key spellings like achieve, attitude, enough.
structure
Make one idea per paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence and stay on it.
content
Give short examples that are easy to see how the point works.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
content
It has some clear effort to give an opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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