recent years, obesity has become an increasingly serious problem in many countries. What are the main reasons for this rise, and to what extent do modern lifestyle factors, such as the use of technology and social media, contribute to this issue?

The past years have, no doubt, seen an emergence in the obese population, reflecting a grave concern among several nations. There could be numerous possible reasons for
this
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serious phenomenon , which mainly include advanced technology and growing use of social expression;
however
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, I believe that other existing factors contribute to some extent to
this
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growth.
This
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essay will hash out the primary
as well as
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other reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. Causes behind
this
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trend can be many; the most significant is indeed the advancement in technology, leading modern society to adopt the new approaches and amenities generated by technology. To elaborate, efficient job tools and the internet enable employers to enforce workers remotely. Despite the fact that it increases productivity and efficiency, working mainly from
home
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Home
show examples
soars the chances of
obesity
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.
For instance
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, a study conducted by Harvard University revealed that two-thirds of the office workers suffer from health issues, especially cholesterol and
obesity
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than their counterparts,
that is
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, people commuting to work.
Therefore
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, the more ease provided by technical tools, the higher the number of citizens affected health-wise.
Moreover
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, Social media can considerably contribute to
this
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well-being concern , as not only young adults but
also
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other age groups rely on scrolling through social platforms for recreation.
Instead
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of incorporating physical activities in their routines, humankind keeps itself engaged in media applications
such
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as Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and so on.
This
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sedentary lifestyle,
therefore
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, leads to health issues.
Moreover
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, Busier work routines lead to an imbalance in personal and work life, causing residents to consume a poor diet ,
such
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as canned foods , which, in turn, increases the likelihood of
obesity
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and other metabolic problems. To recapitulate,
although
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the rise in technological progress and social media use is the leading factor for the increase in
obesity
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yet poorly managed diets
also
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contribute significantly , and changes in these outcomes can have significant payoffs

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task response
Your answer has ideas about tech, social media, and diet. To grow, state one clear main view in the intro and stick to it. Add more detail to each cause with easy examples.
coherence and cohesion
Break the writing into clear parts. Use short, simple links like and, but, also, for example. Start new paragraphs for new ideas and end with a plain ending.
content
You show a plan and give the reader the idea you will discuss causes and how much they matter.
structure
There is a basic shape: introduction, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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