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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
The chart shows the number of
households
Use synonyms
 in the US by their annual
income
Use synonyms
 in 2007, 2011 and 2015 by highlighting
millions
Use synonyms
 of people and different years. To demonstrate the difference, we have to compare them. The first year, which is
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
show examples
 illustrates the strong correlation between a low
income
Use synonyms
 and a high
income
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means that 25
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
households
Use synonyms
 in the US suffer because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, around 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 - live a good, with a lot of opportunities
life
Correct word order
apply
show examples
. So people are either poor or rich in 2007, which is not the best thing, because it shows the
inequallity
Correct your spelling
inequality
 of their
income
Use synonyms
. The second year, which is 2011, demonstrates almost the same thing, but
households
Use synonyms
 with low
income
Use synonyms
 started growing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
with
Check wording
households with
show examples
 high
income
Use synonyms
 started decreasing.
Finally
Linking Words
, the third year, which is 2015, shows that
households
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 got 100,000 dollars or more
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started increasing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the difference was several
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people, if
to compare
Verb problem
compared
show examples
 with other years. In conclusion, the graph doesn’t have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 straight correlation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 doesn’t make sense.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words households, income, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic landscape
  • Household income
  • Economic health
  • Income brackets
  • Trends
  • Inflation
  • Unemployment rates
  • Job market
  • Income disparity
  • Housing affordability
  • Access to education
  • Quality of life
  • Economic policies
  • Income inequality
  • Mitigating
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