Many criminals resort back to crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes for this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
Recidivism is a phenomenon which may occur after passing the jail period in the majority of
offenders
due to
social issues or being affected by peers
. Some measures can be found for this
problem including considering social involvement or changing criminal neighbourhoods.
Poverty and being unable to fulfil the initial needs of life can be one reason to commit crime
again. The majority of criminals
do not have a stable job with a permanent salary. Moreover
, many offenders
do not have special education or skills to find a suitable job and also
, because of being in jail, they have negative points in their background. This
leads employers to avoid recruiting them in their businesses. Thieves, for example
, commit a crime
as they do not have any other financial source and they do not have any alternative way except breaking the law.
On the other hand
, the effects of friends and relatives are undeniable. Many people are impacted by whom surround with. The majority of offenders
have close relationships with those who are engaged in a crime
as well. Nevertheless
, perhaps many criminals
try not to any crime
, many of them trace their criminal peers
and do what they do to stay in the group. This
situation often can be seen in slums and poor areas.
There are many ways to remedy this
situation. First and foremost the government prepares them to be an integral part of society. Public charity activity, for example
, can be one way. Prisoners can be volunteers for doing beneficial activities in society to feel not only helpful and satisfied about themselves, but also
forget their crimes and try to be one part of a social group. If the government hold this
event for offenders
in order to forget their past, criminals
will not seem to repeat a crime
. Moreover
, to eliminate the bad impacts of friends, If the neighbourhood were changed, offenders
could live safer since the negative effect of peers
would probably eliminated.
All being said, recidivism is probable happen which occur after the prison period due to
the inability to fulfil the first needs of life and the negative impact of peers
. The government ought to involve them in public or charity activities to give a positive sense of confidence to offenders
. Furthermore
, by changing criminals
' residential areas, as there is no friend to motivate the crime
, the situation be remedied.Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on
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task achievement
Although the essay provides a complete response to the question and addresses both causes and solutions for recidivism, it could benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations. Try to elaborate more on how the solutions would be practically implemented.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that could be improved for better clarity and flow. For instance, phrases like 'many criminals try not to any crime' and 'recidivism is probable happen which occur' can be rephrased for better understanding. Similarly, the sentence structures sometimes disrupt the smooth readability.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides a structured response, addressing both causes and solutions effectively. The ideas are well-organized and logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, contributing to the overall coherence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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