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Band 6.5

The two tables below show responses of different age groups to a questionnaire with their opinion about the range of books and the non-print materials in a local library.

The two tables below show responses of different age groups to a questionnaire with their opinion about the range of books and the non-print materials in a local library.
The given tables represent how the percentage of opinions, regarding
books
Use synonyms
 and non-print
materials
Use synonyms
 in a local library, varies
according to
Linking Words
 three different
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
Overall
Linking Words
, a majority of readers, irrespective of their
age
Use synonyms
,
appreciates
Correct subject-verb agreement
appreciate
show examples
 the range of
books
Use synonyms
 in the library,
whereas
Linking Words
 the non-print
materials
Use synonyms
 bear a mixed opinion. In detail, more than
half
Use synonyms
 of those aged under 15 years
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 opine that the library’s book collection is very good, at 55%,
while
Linking Words
 only just above a quarter of the other two
age
Use synonyms
 groups, namely 15-39 and above
40 year-olds
Use the right word
40-year-olds
show examples
, have
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 opinion.
By contrast
Linking Words
, nearly
half
Use synonyms
 of them regard the range of
books
Use synonyms
 as satisfactory. Only less than a quarter of all the people asked believe that the range of
books
Use synonyms
 is not good. Meanwhile, non-print
materials
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as computer software and DVDs, have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
varying acceptance among different
age
Use synonyms
 groups. Approximately
half
Use synonyms
 of the teenagers regard the
materials
Use synonyms
 as not good,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining believe
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to be very good and satisfactory at 25% and 23%, respectively. In the 15-39
age
Use synonyms
 group,
half
Use synonyms
 of them
regards
Correct subject-verb agreement
regard
show examples
 it as very good, followed by a satisfactory opinion by 30%.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that roughly
half
Use synonyms
 the proportion of the
above 40
Use the right word
above-40
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group chose not to comment on it.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, materials, age, half with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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