IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#million #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
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It goes without saying that man has been curious to explore the universe more and more since day one. That's why it always makes pathways to know more about the universe. It has been argued that spending millions of dollars annually is not worth it. People of different perspectives say
this
 money should be spent to improve the lifestyle of ordinary beings. I disagree with the statement
due to
 benefits
such
 as finding another planet to live on and speculation of asteroids coming towards
Earth
 that can cause harm to the
Earth
.
To begin
 with,
space
 research has a broad scope, particularly in finding another planet to live on, is one of them. It can be seen how scientists are eagerly developing
space
 infrastructure to go beyond the explored areas to find life on other stars.
For example
, in 2022, India launched a rocket to Mars to learn more about life's existence, and it has been collecting and sending significant data to
Earth
, so in emergency conditions, an approach could be made to live there.
Therefore
, these types of investments are essential for mankind.
Moreover
, satellites are being used to look at
Earth
 to check whether any asteroids are coming toward
Earth
, which can cause harm. The
space
 agency NASA has been developing a rocket capable of diverting any asteroid or
space
 object that can affect our solar system. So, money spent on these areas will be beneficial in saving the
Earth
.
To conclude
, expending money on
space
-exploring techniques is relatively high that others thought should be spent to lift the living standard of living beings.
However
, to gather more information about our universe to save human beings from the potential harm of
space
, the government will invest more
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear stance. However, ensure that each paragraph starts with a topic sentence to make your main idea explicit.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. Consider using transitions such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'However'.
task response
Adding more specific examples or statistics from credible sources could strengthen your arguments. Ensure each point is clearly backed up with evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You provided relevant arguments supporting the investment in space research, which are well articulated and logical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • scientific discoveries
  • astronomy
  • satellites
  • international collaboration
  • economic benefits
  • living standards
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • healthcare
  • poverty reduction
  • distribute funds
  • resource allocation
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