IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

Many gangsters commit
further
Linking Words
 misdeeds as soon as they are out of jail. If questioned, certain motives have been identified upon investigation, and some impacts have been witnessed. Both the roots and the influences are elaborated in the following paragraph. Listing the root causes, the most prominent one is when the offender meets another lawbreaker in jail and gets influenced by them. Criminals get offended by the act of law, and
this
Linking Words
 tends to increase their anger, causing them to commit
further
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
. They
also
Linking Words
 develop a mindset to take
further
Linking Words
 revenge from their point of view to justify the injustice caused to them. After getting released from prison, they
also
Linking Words
 will not be accepted by society, family or friends because of their previous
crimes
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
, their only way to sustain is to commit more
crimes
Use synonyms
. Upon examining the outcomes, one of the major effects on society is that women will think twice before going out because of the safety issues. People will not be afraid to commit any number of
crimes
Use synonyms
. Tourism will be impacted, which directly affects the economy of the country, as tourists feel very unsafe to travel in the nation. Children feel unsafe to play outdoors, which makes them get addicted to electronic gadgets. In conclusion, if criminals commit a crime, in jail, governments need to approach a rehabilitation method and
otherwise
Linking Words
 they will make
further
Linking Words
 mistakes. And it continues to harm society by increasing crime rates.

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Task Response
Plan your essay with a simple map: one paragraph for causes, one for effects, and a short ending. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea expressed at the start.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use link words to show order: First, Then, Also, Finally. Keep sentences short and clear so the idea is easy to follow.
Task Response
The essay tries to cover both causes and effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is an attempt to state a clear ending about solutions.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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