IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays in every corner of the world, customers can purchase any universal brand of
food
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products
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 from the local market.
While
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 some people might have some concerns, I believe the positive effects outweigh the negative ones. In our rapidly growing population world where famine is threatening many parts,
food
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 accessibility is essential. It means that many people around the globe live based on the
food
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 which comes from other countries, without which they could barely survive.
For instance
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, many poor countries especially in Africa and war-worn lands survive on
food
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products
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 belonging to nations worldwide.
Moreover
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, many states may suffer from disasters like drought or floods so they are dependent on imported
products
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 from other parts of the universe. As global warming and its consequences become a more serious issue,
food
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 immunity is becoming a daunting challenge. As
result
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a result
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, countries’ dependency on the global
food
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 market is become bigger. There are many agricultural
products
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 which are important for the chains but cultivating them is not economically cost-beneficial in some countries.
This
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 means that
instead
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 of spending enormous money and resources to grow them in some land, governments could import them at much lower prices.
For example
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, rice cultivation in areas with water tensions is not logically appropriate and can be detrimental to the environment.
Furthermore
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, some lands are impotent to grow some specific nutrients which are crucial for people’s health so they have to buy them from the global market. In conclusion,
although
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 some individuals may have some health concerns about imported
food
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products
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,
this
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 mindset must be refuted and it needs to be pinpointed again that
this
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 development could solve global issues like famine and
food
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 immunity.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas in a clearer progression. For instance, start by explaining the advantages of global food availability and then move to examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear point to improve coherence. This will help the reader understand your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your claims, especially when discussing global issues like famine and food security.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Complex ideas are articulated well with relevant points about global food dependency and economic considerations.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic thoroughly and presents a balanced view, discussing both potential advantages and challenges of global food distribution.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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