IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows statistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.

The table below shows statistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
The table
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 key information about the
superior
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
five nations for international tourism in the years 2012 and 2013. The unions are measured in
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the majority of
tourisms
Use the right word
tourists
show examples
 preferred to visit
French
Check wording
France
show examples
 in both terms.
While
Linking Words
 the largest share of expenditure was in the USA.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Paris
receive
Wrong verb form
received
show examples
 the high numbers of passengers during 2012 and
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 slightly under 170 million visitors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they disbursed about $110
billion
Use synonyms
 in those periods. In terms of the USA, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of guests
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 a little under
French
Check wording
that of France
show examples
 by about 25 million persons.
However
Linking Words
, the amount of expenditure was the maximum among all unions by about $ 260 for both years. Spain and China have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approximately
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
callers.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the individuals' spending was more in Spain, so $60.4
.
Check wording
million.
show examples
Whereas
Linking Words
,
In china
Use the right word
in China
show examples
 was about $51
billion
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, a minimum
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of tourists are
disfavoured
Verb problem
discouraged
show examples
to travel
Change preposition
from travelling
show examples
 to Rome.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it got the lower numbers of visitors during the intervals by less than 90 million bodies, and did not
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
show examples
 more than 84
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourist arrivals
  • influx of tourists
  • economic impact
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • revenue generation
  • geographical distribution
  • popular destination
  • regional analysis
  • natural attractions
  • cultural heritage
  • seasonal trends
  • tourism patterns
  • climatic conditions
  • tourism preferences
  • adventure tourism
  • eco-tourism
  • cultural tourism
  • holiday seasons
  • local events
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