IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The only reason why people work hard is to earn money and there is no other reason for doing so. To what degree do you support or oppose this idea?

It is argued that
people
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 tend to work hard to earn more
money
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, and some believe there is no reason for that. I completely support
this
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 statement because earning a
lot
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 of
money
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 can provide a better lifestyle and status in
society
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.
Firstly
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, I believe that by earning more
cash
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,
people
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 can lead a successful and prosperous life. Sometimes, wealth grants access to facilities that common
people
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 cannot even think of. Having a
lot
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 of
money
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 in the bank allows
people
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 to buy whatever they want.
For instance
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, someone with limited income might think twice before buying something expensive, as it might cost them their lifetime savings;
however
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, wealthy
people
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 do not think about that twice, as they have enough
cash
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.
That is
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 why it is important to have a
lot
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 of
money
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 and live your life to the fullest without worrying about running out of
cash
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.
Secondly
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, having lots of
money
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 means living in a big house, riding in a nice car, and wearing fancy clothes.
This
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 is directly related to social status nowadays, and
people
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 love to be respected by others in
society
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. As social respect increases,
people
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's morale rises and makes them happy. As an example, there are a
lot
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 of schools out there where only children from elite families can afford the tuition fees, as studying in these schools costs a
lot
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 of
money
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. So, being wealthy enough is crucial to achieving status in
society
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,
although
Linking Words
 it is not the only way. In conclusion, working hard and earning a
lot
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 of
cash
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 provides
people
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 with a secure life, respect in
society
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,
as well as
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 various luxuries that other
people
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 with less
cash
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 cannot even think about.

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task response
State how much you agree or disagree at once in the intro, and keep to that view in all the essay.
task response
Add a short view of the other side, even a small sentence, to show balance.
coherence
Link your ideas with simple words that show order, like 'first', 'next', 'also', 'but', 'therefore'.
coherence
Make each idea clear with a short example. Try to avoid repeating the same point.
examples
Use more exact, real examples if you can, but keep language simple.
content
Clear view is stated in the intro and restated in the end.
structure
Two main ideas are used with simple support.
coherence
Good use of 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' as signposts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • earn
  • money
  • work hard
  • basic needs
  • food
  • shelter
  • purpose
  • achievement
  • passions
  • art
  • science
  • fulfillment
  • satisfaction
  • contribute
  • motivate
  • efforts
  • society
  • success
  • career
  • goals
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