IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart below gives the information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018

The bar chart illustrates the data about the distribution of weekly budget by the families
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average in divergent years, 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of money allocated to
food
Use synonyms
 in 1968 was
noticeable
Replace the word
noticeably
show examples
 higher than others.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the major figure was occupied by leisure time activities
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the disparity between it and other categories was not as substantial as it had been with
food
Use synonyms
 in 1968. In 1968, as it was mentioned, the dominant figure
had been
Verb problem
was
show examples
food
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1968, representing 35%.
While
Linking Words
 the money allocated to fuel and power had been just above 10%, the proportion the housing and clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 had been
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
double as it had been in
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
show examples
. The other budget influencing mains had
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 indications
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 showed about 8%. In 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the leisure, transport, housing and
food
Use synonyms
 had some significant rates, over 20%, about 14%,
near
Replace the word
nearly
show examples
 15% and around 12% respectively, the other ones did not
stood
Wrong verb form
stand
show examples
 out with their indicators. The
per cents
Use the right word
percentages
show examples
 for fuel and power were decreased compared to the 1968 figure.
In contrast
Linking Words
, household goods did not
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 in 50
year
Correct your spelling
50-year
 life span. The rate for clothing and personal goods
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 under 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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