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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that uniforms in schools are unnecessary and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school
uniforms
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 are unnecessary and should be banned. In my opinion,
however
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,
uniforms
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 play an important role in educational environments, and
therefore
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 should not be removed. Access to education is a fundamental right, and
uniforms
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 were originally introduced to promote equality among
students
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. By ensuring that pupils from diverse socio-economic backgrounds appear similar,
uniforms
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 help minimise visible class differences.
Although
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 critics argue that
uniforms
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 are futile and restrict individuality, I believe that their benefits remain significant for two key reasons.
Firstly
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, the primary focus of academic institutions is to impart knowledge and instil values.
Uniforms
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 reduce the cognitive effort
students
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 might
otherwise
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 spend on choosing their outfits, allowing them to concentrate on learning.
Moreover
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, they create a standard of hygiene and formal presentation.
For example
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, wearing a clean white shirt,
neatly
Correct article usage
a neatly
show examples
 ironed skirt or trousers, braided hair, and trimmed nails teaches
students
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 discipline and the importance of presenting themselves appropriately. Without
uniforms
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, maintaining a consistent and acceptable dress code would be far more challenging.
Secondly
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, the absence of
uniforms
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 may lead to unhealthy social comparisons among
students
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. Young learners may begin associating clothing brands with social status, resulting in unnecessary pressure and distractions. A student wearing a designer belt,
for instance
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, may be perceived as superior to a classmate in non-branded clothing.
Such
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 distinctions can foster jealousy, insecurity, and division among impressionable minds.
While
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 institutions without
uniforms
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 may attempt to enforce general guidelines for hygiene and formal dressing, these measures are not as effective as a uniform policy.
Therefore
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, I believe that banning
uniforms
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 entirely would not be advisable.

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development
Add a clearer counter-argument and show why your view is stronger
coherence
Use more linking words to tie ideas between sentences and paragraphs
development
Give more detail or real examples for each point
language
Check grammar and word use to be precise
task response
Clear opinion and stance kept throughout the essay
coherence
Well-ordered ideas with a logical flow
coherence
Good use of connectors like Firstly, Secondly, Therefore
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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