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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Tuition for healthy children usually has top priority in most countries. However, teaching students with disabilities or mental issues is more difficult and even more important to support and develop. Which viewpoint do you agree with? use specific reasons and examples to support your answer?

Teaching methods differ between healthy
children
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 and those with disabilities or mental illnesses. Many countries focus on developing the competencies of healthy
children
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, as
this
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 is often considered a priority,
whereas
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 individuals with limited abilities, who require alternative methods, are given less importance. In my opinion, I believe that all
children
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 around the world have the right to study and make progress regardless of their conditions.
Firstly
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, it is true that
children
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 with limited abilities represent a smaller proportion compared to normal ones.
However
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, in many cases, their limitations do not prevent them from achieving success. By providing them with appropriate support and specific teaching methods,
this
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 small group can excel despite their conditions.
For example
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,
children
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 suffering from autism may benefit from personalised instruction that helps them develop their creativity and explore their hidden talents, which can eventually offer excellent opportunities to secure a stable financial life.
Furthermore
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, by providing equal resources and opportunities for all citizens, regardless of their abilities, the
overall
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 progress of the country can be significantly enhanced. When
children
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 with disabilities are given access to specialised programmes, qualified teachers, and supportive learning environments, they are more likely to become independent and productive members of society.
This
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 not only improves their quality of life but
also
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 reduces social inequality and strengthens national unity.
As a result
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, a country that promotes inclusive education is often seen as more developed, responsible, and respected on the international stage. In conclusion, all human beings have the right to receive an education and develop their skills regardless of their physical or mental conditions. Government efforts are still required to make
this
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 right a reality, which will ultimately contribute to the continuous development of the
countr
Correct your spelling
country

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structure
Make clear topic sentence for each paragraph and show a smooth line of idea.
language
Use short, plain sentences. Avoid long, hard to read phrases.
content
Give more clear examples that show how all kids can learn, not just one group.
editing
Check the ending. The last line should be full and not cut off.
content
The writer takes a clear stand and wants all kids to learn.
tone
The piece shows care for people with disability and a fair view.
concept
The idea of rights and equal chance is present.
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