Some people encourage watching sports as a way of learning about teamwork and strategy, while others believe that one can learn skills through playing sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is thought by some that observation during
sports
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is a method that a person can learn about teamwork and strategy,
whereas
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the opponents of
this
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notion take the view that
people
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can learn
such
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skills
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when they take part in
sports
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.
Although
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I agree that the former idea can be true in some cases, I would argue that the latter can boost one's knowledge about these
skills
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, some consider that watching
sports
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plays a pivotal role in fostering many aspects of teamwork and strategy. By observing
sports
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people
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can see what players are doing, and what actions and strategies they are using in order to win the competition. If someone decides to start
sports
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, it may be a good method as in
this
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approach they can learn more about
such
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skills
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without being injured.
Additionally
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,
people
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can take photos or record videos during
sports
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and they can keep them for a long time and watch them at home again and again. By looking at what sportsmen or sportswomen are doing,
people
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can learn from them.
On the other hand
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, some, including me, believe that participating in
sports
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can create a deep insight into
skills
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in the mind. The atmosphere in watching
sports
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is not as vibrant as that in engaging
sports
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. When
people
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take part in
sports
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, they can learn more about crucial
skills
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because they can understand their mistakes during
sports
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, and they will never do it again in the future. If they get injured or do strategies in the wrong way, they are likely to fail and it will give them the feeling of competition, and they can work hard and gain a depth of
sports
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strategies.
Furthermore
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, when they are in
sports
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, they will have a lot of teammates, and in
this
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way, they can learn more from each other by sharing what they know about
sports
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and in
this
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way
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way,
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they can learn about how to be a part of a team.
To sum up
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,
while
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it should be admitted that observing
sports
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events can be a useful method in terms of safety and keeping records for a long time,
however
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, participating in
sports
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offers a different ambience about teamwork and strategy.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, consider including more specific examples and experiences to support your discussion points. This helps to clearly illustrate your arguments and makes your essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion, well-organized paragraphs, and clear progression of ideas. To further enhance this, try to create stronger links between your main ideas and the examples you present. Using varied linking words effectively will also add to the clarity of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the essay prompt, discussing both views and providing your opinion as required.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, well-structured body paragraphs, and a summarizing conclusion, which aids in the logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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