Some people encourage watching sports as a way of learning about teamwork and strategy, while others believe that one can learn skills through playing sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #teamwork #strategy #skills

It is thought by some that observation during

sports

is a method that a person can learn about teamwork and strategy,

whereas

the opponents of

this

notion take the view that

people

can learn

such

skills

when they take part in

sports

Although

I agree that the former idea can be true in some cases, I would argue that the latter can boost one's knowledge about these

skills

This

essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, some consider that watching

sports

plays a pivotal role in fostering many aspects of teamwork and strategy. By observing

sports

people

can see what players are doing, and what actions and strategies they are using in order to win the competition. If someone decides to start

sports

, it may be a good method as in

this

approach they can learn more about

such

skills

without being injured.

Additionally

people

can take photos or record videos during

sports

and they can keep them for a long time and watch them at home again and again. By looking at what sportsmen or sportswomen are doing,

people

can learn from them.

On the other hand

, some, including me, believe that participating in

sports

can create a deep insight into

skills

in the mind. The atmosphere in watching

sports

is not as vibrant as that in engaging

sports

. When

people

take part in

sports

, they can learn more about crucial

skills

because they can understand their mistakes during

sports

, and they will never do it again in the future. If they get injured or do strategies in the wrong way, they are likely to fail and it will give them the feeling of competition, and they can work hard and gain a depth of

sports

strategies.

Furthermore

, when they are in

sports

, they will have a lot of teammates, and in

this

way, they can learn more from each other by sharing what they know about

sports

and in

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

they can learn about how to be a part of a team.

To sum up

while

it should be admitted that observing

sports

events can be a useful method in terms of safety and keeping records for a long time,

however

, participating in

sports

offers a different ambience about teamwork and strategy.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your Task Achievement score, consider including more specific examples and experiences to support your discussion points. This helps to clearly illustrate your arguments and makes your essay more compelling.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion, well-organized paragraphs, and clear progression of ideas. To further enhance this, try to create stronger links between your main ideas and the examples you present. Using varied linking words effectively will also add to the clarity of your essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the essay prompt, discussing both views and providing your opinion as required.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, well-structured body paragraphs, and a summarizing conclusion, which aids in the logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

377 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people encourage watching sports as a way of learning about teamwork and strategy, while others believe that one can learn skills through playing sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The grash illustrates the proportion of the populatio in four countries (Philippines, Malaysia, Thailad and Indonesia) between 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Write a letter to the hotel making the arrangements. Let them know when you will be arriving and leaving, what type of rooms you would like, and ask them how much the weekend will cost. Also enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel.

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.