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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the goverment, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In today's society, it is most commonly believed fact that the
government
Use synonyms
 should take accountable for public
health
Use synonyms
 care.
Although
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 may argue that a person should be responsible for their own
health
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 essay, I will be going over both arguments. On the one hand, most citizens know that the state takes an integral role ,
such
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 as having
health
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 insurance.
In other words
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, the insurance mostly covers major surgeries and other accident costs.
Moreover
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 , when the
government
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 works with the healthcare industry, it can create new cures and
also
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 a safe way for examinations.
Furthermore
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, authorities took a good interest in public
health
Use synonyms
overall
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, well-being of citizens got better. So the majority of citizens understand that
health
Use synonyms
 care can be developed
further
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.
On the other hand
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, there are others who want to take care of their own
health
Use synonyms
 by themselves.
For example
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, individuals who prefer that handle their
health
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 fall into the category of personal and cultural beliefs.
Moreover
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, they have a belief that a person should not depend on the
government
Use synonyms
 and is responsible for their own actions. The
people
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's personal experience could
also
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 affect the choices they made about their well-being concerns. Suffice it to say, in my opinion, that everyone should put more trust in authority, even though a person doesn't want others meddling in their business. If they more active mindset for law informers, they are more likely to obtain valuable knowledge about cures and other medications. Suffice it to say, in my opinion, that everyone should put more trust in authority, even though an individual doesn't want other meddling in their business. If they more active mindset for law informers, they are more likely to obtain valuable knowledge about cures and other medications.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that public
health
Use synonyms
 is the responsibility of the
government
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others think that
people
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for their own
health
Use synonyms
. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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task response
In task 1, make your view clear in the intro and keep it in the end. Give one clear reason in each paragraph. Do not repeat ideas.
coherence
In coherence, put ideas in order. Use 4 paragraphs: intro, two body paragraphs, conclusion. Start each paragraph with a sign post like 'First', 'Next', 'In conclusion'.
language
Use simple words. Check grammar and punctuation. Build one idea per sentence and use correct links between sentences.
progress
The writer tries to cover both sides and give a final view.
content
There are ideas about what the government does in health care.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • public health campaigns
  • regulatory measures
  • vaccination programs
  • health crises
  • proactive steps
  • lifestyle choices
  • personal hygiene
  • financial burden
  • neglect
  • collaboration
  • mutual accountability
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