IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

many people assume that the goal of each country should be to produce more materials and goods. to what extand do you agree or disagree

A bunch of people
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 say that the aim of
county
Correct article usage
the county
show examples
 is to manufacture products and materials in a big
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, but it
also
Linking Words
 has some negatives. The main reason why I agree is that
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 can
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
 their Gross Domestic Product and build some new skyscrapers.
This
Linking Words
 is because
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 can actually export their goods to some big countries to
claim
Verb problem
earn
show examples
 money and spend
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
, the USA and some well-known
campaigns
Check wording
companies
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Apple or Microsoft earn a lot of money and pay huge fees
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. The second reason is that
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 can become the most productive
country
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as China
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
 people work hard and sell their goods
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreigners and help to
government
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, countries may sell their products and help people with their lives,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 shouldn't be in the first place because
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has other things to do
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as repairing the roads and so on. China is a great example, where
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
also
Linking Words
 looks after their citizens and their conditions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I agree that it is good to produce
products
Correct word order
more products
show examples
 and goods
more
Correct word order
apply
show examples
, but it shouldn't be the key goal to be the best or something.

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planning
Plan your essay. Decide your main idea first and write it in a clear first sentence.
lexical
Use simple, clear words. Keep to common English, and avoid long, hard words or wrong forms.
cohesion
Make a topic sentence for each paragraph and link ideas with easy words like 'also', 'but', 'however'.
grammar
Check grammar: plural forms, articles, and word form. Read aloud to catch mistakes.
examples
Give one or two clear examples and explain them. Do not mix brands with other wrong words.
content
The writer shows a clear view and tries to discuss both sides.
coherence
There is some connection between ideas in the text.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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