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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie chart below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.

The pie charts below illustrate the percentage of five types of
books
Use synonyms
 sold by the bookseller from 1972 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, Travel
books
Use synonyms
 used to have the smallest percentage at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, but
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
, they became biographies.
Books
Use synonyms
 “others” were having the biggest coefficient at the start of the
period
Use synonyms
, but became Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
. Another interesting point is that Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 used to have the middle percentage, but in the
end
Use synonyms
 got the highest. Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
 accounted for 25% in 1972. After that, it fell to 20% in 1992, and increased to 45%
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. Children's
fiction
Use synonyms
 accounted for a fifth in 1972. In 1992 it rose up to 22%, and in the
end
Use synonyms
 it became a quarter in 2012. Biography occupied 20%
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Children's
fiction
Use synonyms
 in 1972. In 1992, it fell to less than a fifth, and decreased to 8% in 2012. Travel accounted for 15% in 1972, and increased to 18% in the middle of the
period
Use synonyms
. After that, it fell 8 less to one in ten. Category “others” occupied a quarter in 1972. In 1992, it decreased to 20%, and fell to 12%
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, period, end, fiction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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