IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that government should make a university education free for anybody who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree?‏

It is believed by some people that
university
Use synonyms
 admissions should be fully
sponsered
Correct your spelling
sponsored
 by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 deserve to get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 at
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 level for free, I opine that
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 burden should not be on
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, those who think that
university
Use synonyms
 education should be free
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 give their reasons as follows. The first main reason is high fees.
Use synonyms
University level
Use the right word
University-level
show examples
studies
Use synonyms
 are very expensive,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
show examples
 families cannot
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, many
students
Use synonyms
 drop the idea of doing higher
studies
Use synonyms
. Despite having
capabilties
Correct your spelling
capabilities
,
students
Use synonyms
 have to compromise in
low salary
Use the right word
low-salary
show examples
 jobs because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they do not have
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second reason is that
university
Use synonyms
studies
Use synonyms
 are beneficial. It is not only good for
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 growth, but the nation
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefits
show examples
. Highly educated citizens can open their
gates
Check wording
doors
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working internationally. It will improve
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and literacy level of the country,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should help
students
Use synonyms
 to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
university
Use synonyms
 courses.
However
Linking Words
, I believe sometimes totally free of cost
studies
Use synonyms
 are treated
less
Change preposition
as less
show examples
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
. If the country pays all fees for
studies
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 there will not be a sense of responsibility among
students
Use synonyms
. Some amount should be paid by
students
Use synonyms
 themselves, so they can realise the importance, and can
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 on
studies
Use synonyms
 to get good grades.
Additionally
Linking Words
, managing
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 expense would be tough for the
government
Use synonyms
 as well. Rather than
making
Verb problem
providing
show examples
 free education, governments should offer several scholarship programs for those
students
Use synonyms
 who deserve it.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would reiterate my belief,
while
Linking Words
 higher
studies
Use synonyms
 are costly and advantageous for
students
Use synonyms
, it would be wrong to burden
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 charges on
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. But some scholarships could be a solution for deserving
students
Use synonyms
.

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strength
You have a clear view and keep it through the essay.
structure
You use linking words well to show order.
weakness
There are many spelling mistakes that hide meaning. Fix words such as affort, capabilties, persue.
improvement
Examples are weak. Add a small fact or sample, like scholarships or means-tested fees.
improvement
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence and end with a line that links to the next idea.
content
Clear view on the issue.
structure
Good linking words to show order.
closing
Conclusion repeats your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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