Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subject which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The massive burden of providing the best curriculum for children is on the shoulders of principals.
While
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some argue that educational institutions solely focus on
out-off
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out-of-school
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subjects
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, which do not adapt them into real life, in my view, traditional lessons are too important to be ignored. On the one hand, conventional
subjects
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are considered a thing of the past. To clarify, gone are the days when people used to live a simple life. Thanks to the technological revolution, every part of our lives has been altered significantly, and the way of education is no exception. In fact, it is a must for all school-goers to get used to modern
subjects
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, like computers, AI, and even robots.
For example
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, many have to access their data for projects from
such
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modern gadgets, since they are much more up-to-date compared to their traditional counterparts.
On the other hand
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, the traditional
subjects
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still have many positive effects on schoolchildren.
For instance
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, they have to try a wide variety of ways to solve a complex mathematical equation.
This
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results in boosting analytical skills among them, as they have to try many ways to accomplish a mission.
Moreover
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, in
this
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way, they can understand how to overcome one hardship after another, making a valuable contribution to improving their personal growth.
As a result
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, in their personal life, they can pass difficulties much more easily. In conclusion,
although
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underestimating the importance of modern
subjects
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in
this
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contemporary era is not logical, I believe, it does not necessarily mean they can replace the traditional way of education.

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planning
Try to state your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in all the essay.
structure
Add one main idea in each paragraph with a clear link to the next part.
language
Use simple and clear grammar, avoid long, hard sentences.
content
Give a real example for modern and old subjects to show balance.
structure
Intro and conclusion present the main idea.
coherence
Some good links between ideas (on the one hand / on the other hand).
content
Some examples show impact of tech in class.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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