Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is thought by some that their happiest years were during their teenage years. Others,
however
, believe that happiness comes during adult life later on, despite a great deal of responsibilities.
Although
being an adult means having enough
money
to enjoy many life activities,
teenagers
have an enormous amount of
time
to spend on leisure activities, and
for
this
reason, I stand with the latter view. Undoubtedly, adults usually have the
money
to spend on entertaining activities and creating joyful moments.
Due to
the fact that adults usually have the financial means to travel somewhere far, attend a concert, or even rent an expensive car, many express their happiest moments to be during their thirties and the years after
while
their health is still perfect and they have enough
money
to spend.
For example
, a 35-year-old man can always travel to Spain during summertime and be able to create unforgettable
momentsmoments
Correct your spelling
moments moments
.
However
, in my opinion, most adults are so engaged mentally with work and family responsibilities that they do not have the
time
to spend or travel but rarely.
On the other hand
, during adolescence,
teenagers
have all the
time
they need to have fun. Having no serious tasks or long working hours,
teenagers
often spend their
time
partying with their cool friends throughout the week
while
having absolutely no responsibility on their shoulders.
As a result
, people usually remember these days as their happiest.
For example
,
teenagers
usually have their own party places that open during weekdays, especially when they become university students, they become happier as their social network
also
expands. Personally, I believe that having no responsibilities is the key to creating happy moments to remember.
To conclude
,
while
being an adult means having more
money
to spend on entertaining events,
teenagers
have all the
time
in the world to be with their friends and party, and that, in my view, is the reason why people remember these days as their happiest.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic effectively, try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition. For example, phrases like 'momentsmoments' seem repetitive and should be rectified.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the overall structure is good, connecting sentences between paragraphs more clearly can improve cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
relevant specific examples
The usage of specific examples such as the 35-year-old man traveling to Spain and teenagers enjoying parties enhances the relevance and engagement of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • fulfillment
  • responsibilities
  • exploration
  • long-term goals
  • sense of stability
  • carefree
  • contentment
  • well-being
  • life stage
  • unique opportunities
  • deep satisfaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: