Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.

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It is thought by some that their happiest years were during their teenage years. Others,
however
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, believe that happiness comes during adult life later on, despite a great deal of responsibilities.
Although
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being an adult means having enough
money
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to enjoy many life activities,
teenagers
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have an enormous amount of
time
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to spend on leisure activities, and
for
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this
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reason, I stand with the latter view. Undoubtedly, adults usually have the
money
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to spend on entertaining activities and creating joyful moments.
Due to
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the fact that adults usually have the financial means to travel somewhere far, attend a concert, or even rent an expensive car, many express their happiest moments to be during their thirties and the years after
while
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their health is still perfect and they have enough
money
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to spend.
For example
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, a 35-year-old man can always travel to Spain during summertime and be able to create unforgettable
momentsmoments
Correct your spelling
moments moments
.
However
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, in my opinion, most adults are so engaged mentally with work and family responsibilities that they do not have the
time
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to spend or travel but rarely.
On the other hand
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, during adolescence,
teenagers
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have all the
time
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they need to have fun. Having no serious tasks or long working hours,
teenagers
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often spend their
time
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partying with their cool friends throughout the week
while
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having absolutely no responsibility on their shoulders.
As a result
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, people usually remember these days as their happiest.
For example
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,
teenagers
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usually have their own party places that open during weekdays, especially when they become university students, they become happier as their social network
also
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expands. Personally, I believe that having no responsibilities is the key to creating happy moments to remember.
To conclude
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,
while
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being an adult means having more
money
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to spend on entertaining events,
teenagers
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have all the
time
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in the world to be with their friends and party, and that, in my view, is the reason why people remember these days as their happiest.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic effectively, try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition. For example, phrases like 'momentsmoments' seem repetitive and should be rectified.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the overall structure is good, connecting sentences between paragraphs more clearly can improve cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
relevant specific examples
The usage of specific examples such as the 35-year-old man traveling to Spain and teenagers enjoying parties enhances the relevance and engagement of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • fulfillment
  • responsibilities
  • exploration
  • long-term goals
  • sense of stability
  • carefree
  • contentment
  • well-being
  • life stage
  • unique opportunities
  • deep satisfaction
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