Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

One point of view supports that advertising is becoming more developed at motivating us to purchase products and services,
while
another says that
people
don’t pay attention to it, because there are many similar
ads
nowadays.
This
essay will argue
although
people
ignore advertising, which appears everywhere, I believe that the advertising industry is improving every year and it sometimes encourages us to buy even those things, which we don’t need. On the one hand,
people
see a lot of
ads
in modern life, which are quite similar and it can be boring for them.I want to mention that the aim of advertising is persuading
people
to buy things, but because of expanding common
ads
in our lives, it does not achieve the main goal.
That is
to say, advertising loses the interest of potential customers.
Therefore
,
people
tend to miss or close
ads
as soon as possible.
For example
, in Kazakhstan, the average time of watching
ads
on YouTube platform is about 10-15 seconds. After, users close
ads
and want to continue watching their films or videos.
On the other hand
, we notice that the advertising industry is developing and marketers are using many hacks to encourage us to purchase. There was born a new type of marketing, called “native advertising”. It helps marketers
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get the attention of potential clients with interesting stories or cases and sell their products using native ways of advertising.
For instance
, in Kazakhstan, native advertising on social media,
such
as Instagram is becoming famous and helpful.
In other words
, social media marketers use several hacks
as well as
storytelling to get the interest of
people
and motivate them to buy the services they provide. In conclusion, it is said that advertising is a common thing nowadays and
people
are not interested in watching it
however
, others feel that
this
industry is becoming more helpful in encouraging
people
to buy. I strongly agree with
this
statement and believe that advertising is achieving incredible things in modern life.
Submitted by kalelkkhana on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Firstly, ensure there is a clearer distinction between the view that supports the effectiveness of advertising and the view that argues its ineffectiveness. Strengthening this distinction will make your essay more balanced.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your topic sentences to make them slightly more clear and concise. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Elaborate on your examples with slightly more detail. Providing deeper insights into how native advertising exactly works can make your points stronger.
Task Achievement
Review grammar and punctuation, such as ensuring appropriate spaces after periods and commas. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines both views and your stance, setting a good foundation for your essay.
Task Achievement
Your examples are relevant and context-specific, which adds value to your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay stays on topic throughout and addresses the task prompt thoroughly.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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