Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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One point of view supports that advertising is becoming more developed at motivating us to purchase products and services,

while

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another says that

people

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don’t pay attention to it, because there are many similar

ads

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nowadays.

This

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essay will argue

although

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people

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ignore advertising, which appears everywhere, I believe that the advertising industry is improving every year and it sometimes encourages us to buy even those things, which we don’t need. On the one hand,

people

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see a lot of

ads

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in modern life, which are quite similar and it can be boring for them.I want to mention that the aim of advertising is persuading

people

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to buy things, but because of expanding common

ads

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in our lives, it does not achieve the main goal.

That is

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to say, advertising loses the interest of potential customers.

Therefore

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people

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tend to miss or close

ads

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as soon as possible.

For example

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, in Kazakhstan, the average time of watching

ads

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on YouTube platform is about 10-15 seconds. After, users close

ads

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and want to continue watching their films or videos.

On the other hand

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, we notice that the advertising industry is developing and marketers are using many hacks to encourage us to purchase. There was born a new type of marketing, called “native advertising”. It helps marketers

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get the attention of potential clients with interesting stories or cases and sell their products using native ways of advertising.

For instance

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, in Kazakhstan, native advertising on social media,

such

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as Instagram is becoming famous and helpful.

In other words

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, social media marketers use several hacks

as well as

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storytelling to get the interest of

people

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and motivate them to buy the services they provide. In conclusion, it is said that advertising is a common thing nowadays and

people

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are not interested in watching it

however

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, others feel that

this

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industry is becoming more helpful in encouraging

people

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to buy. I strongly agree with

this

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statement and believe that advertising is achieving incredible things in modern life.

Submitted by kalelkkhana on Fri May 17 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Firstly, ensure there is a clearer distinction between the view that supports the effectiveness of advertising and the view that argues its ineffectiveness. Strengthening this distinction will make your essay more balanced.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on your topic sentences to make them slightly more clear and concise. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Elaborate on your examples with slightly more detail. Providing deeper insights into how native advertising exactly works can make your points stronger.

Task Achievement

Review grammar and punctuation, such as ensuring appropriate spaces after periods and commas. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines both views and your stance, setting a good foundation for your essay.

Task Achievement

Your examples are relevant and context-specific, which adds value to your arguments.

Task Achievement

The essay stays on topic throughout and addresses the task prompt thoroughly.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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