IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays many parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children
Use synonyms
ere
Use the right word
are
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 under too much
pressure
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 from their parents to achieve success in school lately. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
while
Linking Words
 too much
pressure
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 can negatively affect
children
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’s mental and physical well-being, in certain cases, a moderate amount of
pressure
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 may help them develop discipline and prepare for future careers. There is a reason why I disagree with those who believe
children
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 should push to
study
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 more. When
children
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study
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 under
strain
Punctuation problem
strain,
show examples
 they are unable to fully engage with their subjects.
As a result
Linking Words
, their academic scores may decline, and they tend to become easily stressed or fall ill.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they cannot enjoy their childhood. Take China as an
example
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example,
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 where
acamdemic
Correct your spelling
academic
 competition is extremely intense, many students experience high stress levels, and
this
Linking Words
 has even contributed to a rise in suicidal tendencies. With regard to putting extra
pressure
Use synonyms
 on
children
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, it may be useful for their future academic and career paths. Without force, many
children
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 do not want to
study
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, because they tend to be naturally lazy. If we do not exercise our
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 cannot work at
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 full potential. Only by giving strain for
study
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extra
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, extra
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 lessons
and
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, and
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 learn additional languages can
children
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 achieve success, and build a successful career in the future In conclusion, my opinions on the discussed topic are varied, as certain cases may hold true under different circumstances.
This
Linking Words
 complexity makes forming a steadfast opinion more challenging than it appears
and
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, and
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 in my view,
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
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 balance is essential.

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clarity
Be clear on your view from the start and keep it steady through the essay.
cohesion
Use simple links such as first, also, however, for example to show how ideas connect.
balance
Give a balance in both sides of the view and explain how each may help or hurt.
language
Check spelling and grammar, and fix common mistakes so the text reads well.
content
Use real and clear examples and explain how they show your point.
content
The idea of having a middle view shows balance.
structure
Some cause and effect is shown, like pressure leading to stress.
language
A point is made in the opening sentence to set the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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