IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays many parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children
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 have too much
pressure
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 from their parents to achieve success in school lately. I partially disagree with
this
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 view because
while
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 too much
pressure
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 can negatively affect
children
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’s mental and physical well-being
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 in certain cases, a moderate amount of
pressure
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 may help them develop discipline and prepare for future careers. On the one hand , there is
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
 why
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 disagree with those who suppose
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children's
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children
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 force for
study
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 more. When
children
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study
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 under
strain
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strain,
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 they do not get into subjects.
As a result
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 of
that
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that,
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 their academic scores decline, they tend to be easily get stressed and ill
, so
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easily, so
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 that
children
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 do not spend their childhood like a child. Take China as an
example
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example,
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 where
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study
Replace the word
studying
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 is hard, for
that
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those
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 reasons most students may have
tendency
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a tendency
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 to suicide. With
the
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apply
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regart
Correct your spelling
regard
 to
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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 extra
pressure
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over
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on
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children
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, it may be useful for their future
way
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apply
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and career. Without
force
Add a comma
force,
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 a lot of
children
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 do not want to
study
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, because they
tent
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tend
show examples
 to be lazy by nature. If we do not exercise our
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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,
it
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they
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 will not work as
it
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they
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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created like
Verb problem
designed
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Correct determiner usage
apply
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this
Linking Words
. Only by giving strain for
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study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 extra lessons and languages can
children
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 achieve success, create
well
Replace the word
a successful
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 career in their future life. In conclusion, my opinions on the discussed topic are varied, as certain cases may hold true under different circumstances.
This
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 complexity makes forming a steadfast opinion more challenging than it appears
and
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, and
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 in my view,
prioritizing
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prioritising
show examples
 balance is essential.

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structure
Plan to write in clear order: first an intro with your view, then two body paragraphs each with one idea, then a short conclusion.
task response
Make your view clear in the intro and keep it in the body. Do not switch view in a bad way.
content
Explain each idea with a short reason and a simple example. Use the same idea only once so it is easy to read.
language
Fix grammar and spelling. Use I for I, and correct mistakes like regart, regart, tent, ill.
coherence
Use small linking words to connect ideas: First, also, but, so, then.
grammar
Make long notes into many short sentences. It helps with clarity.
content
Be careful with strong words about harm. Use safe and calm examples, and say what you think is true.
content
You state a view and try to balance it.
content
There is a real example from life (China) to show a point.
structure
The essay ends with a clear close that says balance is needed.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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