IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents, but in other cases people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #marriages #parents #cases #people #marriage #partner
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the past decades, especially in
Asian
Use synonyms
 countries, there have been prevalent two trends for marriages one is progressed by
parents
Use synonyms
 rather than reflecting the individual's own decision, which is more likely to happen in the past, or the other is young adults choosing their own life partners by themselves based on genuine romantic
relationships
Use synonyms
, in the younger generations, and I believe that
this
Linking Words
 should be encouraged for the next generations. Both viewpoints will be discussed below with my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the past, in
Asian
Use synonyms
 nations
such
Linking Words
 as Korea, China or Japan, it might not have been rare cases for young adults to marry someone who was appointed by their
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the fact that
Asian
Use synonyms
 people believe that marriages may engage not at an individual level but at a family level. As a compelling instance,
Asian
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 may consider the family's assets, the relationship between family members, and their work experiences to choose their children's partners to secure their children's safety.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason,
this
Linking Words
 can be seen as a safe way to engage with other families for long-term
relationships
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at the same time, there is the other phenomenon that individuals decide who they want to engage for their love and for marriage in the younger groups
such
Linking Words
 as the MZ generation. In
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, young people tend to start their romantic
relationships
Use synonyms
 when they want without permission from their
parents
Use synonyms
 to pursue their happiness thriving their lives with these values. In most cases, they may be stepped
further
Linking Words
 to marriage or engagement for young couples.
Therefore
Linking Words
, from
this
Linking Words
 perspective, it might be able to lead to the true relationship between couples.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in spite of that there is a viewpoint that arranged marriage by
parents
Use synonyms
 might have a positive point at the family level to be combined together, the other side of people may see the long-term official
relationships
Use synonyms
 should be based on genuine
relationships
Use synonyms
 for their happiness which I am fully convinced.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, make sure to present clear transitions between ideas and use cohesive devices effectively to link sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that an introduction and conclusion are always clearly defined, with the conclusion effectively summarizing the content of the essay and restating your position.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and details ensuring they closely relate to the topic. Develop each point fully so that it contributes to the overall argument of the essay.
task achievement
To achieve a more complete response, thoroughly address all parts of the prompt and explore each view discussed with a balanced approach while expressing your opinion clearly throughout the essay.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas fully to ensure a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Expand on your arguments with concrete details, rather than making broad generalizations.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant specific examples to substantiate your points. These examples should be drawn from credible sources or believable hypothetical scenarios that strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Marital satisfaction
  • Divorce rates
  • Family dynamics
  • Autonomy
  • Emotional bonds
  • Societal pressures
  • Traditions
  • Hybrid models
  • Familial support
  • Social status
  • Psychological aspects
  • Individual choice
  • Financial stability
  • Family honor
  • Customary practices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: