IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the increased global demands in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

Is it a good idea to discover hidden places, to match the demand of comsumption of oil and gas in the
world
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it does sound like a good idea, it is not necessarily practical. Unveiling
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 unknown parts of
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 can bring more than just resources. Disturbing the natural flow cycle of nature might result in a disaster. We have opened some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the
world
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
other parts are untouched. There could be several reasons. One of them
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 danger. With
unkown
Correct your spelling
unknown
 territory
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 comes
unknown
Correct article usage
an unknown
show examples
 enemy. These areas could have diseases not known to humans
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 yet. Viruses,
bacterias
Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
show examples
, organisms we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 know about. Lack of knowledge is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of cure.
Comming
Use the right word
Coming
show examples
 in contact with
such
Linking Words
 unidentified species can result in global alarm, cause epidemics or even pandemics, costing us a great
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of life. Every land has its own ecosystem,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 big or small, every
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
 works in a cycle. By trying to gain
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 to these
lands
Punctuation problem
lands,
show examples
 we do not put our
loves
Use the right word
lives
show examples
 at risk
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 theirs too, by exposing them to
out
Use the right word
our
show examples
 natural organisms and
bacterias
Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
show examples
.
Furyhermoe
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, meddling with the natural work of the
world
Use synonyms
 can distort the atmosphere as well. Shifting of land resources can change the quality of air in the surroundings,
thus
Linking Words
 affecting the stratosphere. With Global warming already causing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
havoc, are we ready to take another risk?
On the contrary
Linking Words
, more raw products mean more usable material, and nature
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the mother of every element. These fresh places, yet to
been
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 seen by men, are great
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to start searching for
such
Linking Words
 ingredients. In
todays
Check wording
today's
show examples
tchenology-clad
Correct your spelling
technology-clad
world
Use synonyms
, everything works on oil and gas
in addition
Linking Words
 to
electricty
Correct your spelling
electricity
. Unless we discover something that can replace these, we
have
Verb problem
will
show examples
 be
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on having
such
Linking Words
 necessities at our disposal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with rapid
incease
Correct your spelling
increase
 in population comes great consumption. Affordable materials have now turned
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 luxury. If
such
Linking Words
 hidden gems are found in stranger places, it will not only meet the demands
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 make it cheaper for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 it is highly logical, I do not
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 in disturbing these sleeping ecosystems of
untouched
Correct article usage
the untouched
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 to be opened
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans. It might prove far more productive to find an alternative, to meet the rate at which the
narural
Correct your spelling
natural
 oils and gases are being consumed. One of the perfect examples is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 electricity. Newly launched electric cars are proof of wider thinking.

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improvement
Plan your answer before you write. Tell your view in a short line at the start, then add 2 or 3 main ideas.
structure
Use clear and simple intro and keep a steady flow to each paragraph. Use simple link words like first, also, but, finally.
content
Give one idea per paragraph and back it with a short example. This keeps meaning clear.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use short, easy-three sentence lines. Use common words only.
content
You look at both sides and show care for nature.
structure
The ending shows your view or position clearly.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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