IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that traveling to foreign countries is the best way to learn about different cultures, while others think that reading books and watching documentaries is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many argue that the most effective way to understand diverse cultures is by visiting other nations,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
books
Use synonyms
 and documentaries are sufficient. In my view, travelling offers a far richer cultural experience,
whereas
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books
Use synonyms
 and documentaries are less effective and often unsuitable for elderly
people
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, travelling to other countries allows
people
Use synonyms
 to gain authentic experiences. Visitors can enjoy exploring traditional customs, tasting new types of food, and discovering unfamiliar places, all of which make the journey both exciting and enjoyable.
For example
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,
although
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 Dubai is an expensive city to live in, many
people
Use synonyms
 consider it worthwhile to visit, as it offers a unique combination of rich heritage and modern skyscrapers that are often only seen on social media.
On the other hand
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to relax at home by watching documentaries or reading
books
Use synonyms
 about other countries’ cultures, especially older individuals,
due to
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 the long distances involved in
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. Chronic health conditions,
such
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 as diabetes, heart disease, and asthma, can
also
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 prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or require them to take extra precautions. In
such
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 cases, watching channels like National Geographic or reading documentary
books
Use synonyms
 from libraries can be a more convenient and beneficial alternative to flying abroad. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad offers authentic experiences and exposure to new cultures, staying at home can be safer and more convenient for those with health or distance limitations.
Overall
Linking Words
, I believe that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is ideal for those who are able, but home-based cultural learning is a practical alternative for others.

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coherence
Put a clear plan at the start and use linking words to join ideas. This helps flow.
task response
Give more strong and varied ideas for both sides. Explain why each view is right.
language
Keep sentences short and use plain words. Check small grammar mistakes.
content
Give examples that are easy and real to see, not too many on one side.
structure
End with a strong, simple last sentence that restates your view.
content
Clear view is stated.
example
Good use of the Dubai example.
structure
The essay has a plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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