There is no need to attend a live performance (a play or concert) because seeing it at home on television is better. To what extend to you agree or disagree

Some people argue that attending live
performances
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has become unnecessary since modern technology allows audiences to enjoy plays or concerts at home.
While
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watching
performances
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on television has certain advantages, I strongly disagree with the idea that it is a complete replacement for live events. Watching concerts or theatrical productions from home offers convenience and accessibility. Viewers can enjoy high-quality recordings, replay specific scenes, and save money on travel and tickets.
In addition
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, televised
performances
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can reach individuals who would
otherwise
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lack access
due to
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geographical or financial barriers. These benefits make recorded shows an important alternative for many audiences.
However
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, live
performances
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provide a unique experience that cannot be replicated on a screen. The atmosphere of a theatre or concert hall, the presence of other spectators and the immediacy of the performers create a sense of immersion that television simply cannot match. Live shows
also
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allow audiences to witness spontaneous moments, genuine emotions and variations in performance that are absent from edited broadcasts.
Furthermore
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, the energy and interaction between performers and the audience contribute significantly to the
overall
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impact of the event.
Finally
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, attending live
performances
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supports the arts industry. Revenues from ticket sales enable theatres, musicians and production teams to continue creating cultural works. Relying solely on televised
performances
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would threaten the sustainability of many artistic institutions. In conclusion,
although
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watching
performances
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at home is convenient and accessible, it cannot fully substitute the richness and authenticity of a live event.
Therefore
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, attending live
performances
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remains essential for those who wish to experience art in its most dynamic form.

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Your essay has a clear view and strong reasons. To be stronger, add a clearer link from one idea to the next and give a bit more proof for each main point.
organization
Work with balance. Each paragraph should hold one main idea and a short proof or example.
language
Watch word choice. Use simple words and short lines where you can so the reader follows easily.
content
Clear view on the topic with good talk.
structure
Good form with an opening, body and closing.
cohesion
Useful links and clean ending that restates view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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