The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society ? How can this problem be resolved?

Recent research states that being overweight causes serious well-being issues. The prominent reason behind
this
is eating junk food. In
this
essay, I will discuss different reasons and possible solutions for
this
problem. In
this
busy world, people are not getting time to cook at home
instead
they prefer to rely on fast-food centres, not only but
also
not spend time on physical exercise.
Moreover
, with the current work-from-home situation, all sitting in one place for long leads to belly fat. Not only for adults, diet
also
affects children's
health
. From my perspective, "Prevention is better than cure",
hence
, following a good diet can avoid overweight issues. In our daily schedule need to spend at least one hour cooking and try to cook simple dishes and
then
keep them in the fridge. Just have that when you feel hungry by heating it for a minute in Oven. Perhaps, spending one hour cooking will be
also
a physical activity for us. Regular workouts would be another solution to
this
issue. In a recent article, a well-known dietician suggested walking for at least 5 kilometres a day and
this
activity keeps us young and healthy. Apart from that, early morning Yoga makes us strong in both physical and mental ways.
Additionally
, eating organic food like leafy vegetables, and nuts will help for good energy. Regular
health
checkup is the most important for a healthy life. In conclusion, society needs to prioritise
health
over wealth. Good
health
brings money but we cannot cure deceases even if we spend millions of dollars.
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task response
Your essay generally addresses the task and there is an attempt to present relevant and extended ideas with supporting examples. However, certain points in your essay need more specific elaboration and clarity.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure and progression were present in your essay, there could be improvements. Linking words could be used more effectively and sentences should flow more naturally.
lexical resource
You have used a broad vocabulary but some words seemed out of context. Avoid using complex words unless you are absolutely sure of their meaning and appropriateness.
grammatical range
In terms of grammatical range and accuracy, despite a variety of complex structures, repeated grammatical errors were noticed which obscured the meaning at times. I recommend focusing on grammar basics before moving onto complex sentence forms.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • genetics
  • nutritional awareness
  • processed foods
  • fast food
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative measures
  • tax incentives
  • urban planning
  • community gardens
  • wellness initiatives
  • dietary guidelines
  • physical fitness
  • calorie-dense
  • portion control
  • metabolic rate
  • health literacy
  • food deserts
  • work-life balance
  • junk food
  • BMI (Body Mass Index)
  • non-communicable diseases
  • food labeling
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