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Band 7.5

Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

#people #sports #events #olympic #games #world #cup #opponent
Sports
events
 attract myriad spectators from around the world every year.
While
 some individuals hold the opinion that
such
 exhibitions are costly, others consider it
otherwise
.
This
 essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the sheer cost of holding
such
 activities is noticeably high. By
this
, we mean that building some infrastructure could be an imperative action that a
country
 should take when it is chosen to be the host for international competitions. A telling example was Russia being selected to hold the World Cup in 2002.
This
country
 had to build some
sports
 venues and other facilities making it suitable for hosting thousands of people from around the globe. To do
this
, millions of dollars were spent.
Therefore
, it is true that
such
events
 could be money-consuming.
By contrast
, opponents of
this
 view point out that, alongside being expensive, we should consider the revenue and other cultural achievements that
such
 exhibitions could bring into a
country
.
This
 argument
also
 appears to be quite powerful meaning that we should consider the expenditures as an investment in a
country
's ability to accommodate, feed, entertain and manage massive amounts of people from various cultures financed by
sports
 fans from all around the world.
Therefore
, being selected as a hostess to
such
events
 is a great opportunity for nations to use their income to strengthen themselves. To put it in a nutshell, I would tend to side with the opponents of the idea. It would be more logical to hold
sports
events
 in that despite being expensive, it could bring about significant developments in a
country
's facilities.
Submitted by h.safaralizade on

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coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph centers around a main idea and develops it adequately. However, consider adding more explicit linking words to enhance the flow between your points.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both views and giving your own opinion. The ideas are clear and comprehensive. However, the language could be polished a bit. For instance, 'opponent way' should be corrected to 'an opposing way.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • financial management
  • economic benefits
  • global recognition
  • investment
  • displacement
  • legacy
  • long-term plan
  • tourism
  • job creation
  • essential services
  • international image
  • local economy
  • financial losses
  • contextual benefits
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