IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Nowadays, many aspects of life have changed compared to the past, and one of the most influential changes is the rise in
damaging
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
.
Check wording
damage.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 essay will show some of the
methods
Check wording
ways
show examples
 in which humans are harmful to the
environment
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several ways
Correct pronoun usage
that effect
show examples
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 negatively on the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Rephrase
negatively.
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, wrong
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 may be main play
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, negative attitudes that humans
are making
Verb problem
have
show examples
 lead to damaging the
environment
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the damage extends its impact on society as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
, not just the individual.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many negative
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as hunting, smoking and others.
Secondly
Linking Words
, pollution is
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 element and big harmful to the
environment
Use synonyms
, because the damage covers all creatures like humans and animals. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that pollution has the worst effect on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In terms of what
Correct article usage
the can
show examples
can
Correct word order
government can
show examples
government
Use synonyms
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 may prohibit some of these wrong
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 either through awareness or even by imposing fines.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can create some rules to reservation the
environment
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, it could make conditions
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 factories. As regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
awareness could have
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 role in
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
, so
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can be aware of the media, TV, and others.
As
Use the right word
An
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individual role is necessary, because damaging
decreases generally
Correct word order
generally decreases
show examples
. By way of conclusion,
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
 is one significant
issue
Use synonyms
 that
should
Correct word order
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 and
organization
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
care
Correct word order
should care
show examples
 about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, because it has
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
show examples
 on creatures'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is important to continue generations.

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structure
Make a plan before you write. Start with a clear aim, then write one idea per paragraph and end with a short point.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Use words like first, also, but, for example, and finally to guide the reader.
content
Answer the task well. Say two or three ways people harm the land, then say what the gov can do and what people can do. Stick to facts and clear steps.
grammar
Check grammar. Use proper noun and verb forms and try to make short, clear sentences.
examples
Give simple, real examples for each idea. Do not repeat the same idea.
content
The plan to talk about both government and people is seen.
content
The topic is clearly set and some ideas are given about harm to the land.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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