IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use

The bar chart illustrates how many people
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 a community website every month
throughout
Change preposition
over
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 years that
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and second
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 had fluctuations over the years with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 amount in
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 of use. In the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
, the highest was slightly over 40.000 visitors
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was around 15.000.
Where in
Rephrase
In
show examples
 the second
year
Use synonyms
, the highest
was
Check wording
number was
show examples
 only reached the number of
20.000
Punctuation problem
20.000,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest was below 10.000. At
Linking Words
first
Use synonyms
, the number of visitors
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 around 25.000 and started to increase gradually until reaching 40.000. It
then
Linking Words
 had a drop, but
then
Linking Words
 back to reach its peak
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 over 40.000. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 didn't stay long and even had a dramatic fall to around 15.000 and ended up in the total of below 40.000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 started slightly lower
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 20.000 and kept experiencing changes throughout the years. It kept
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 and reached the lowest amount of below 10.000 without any significant increase after.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words first, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visits
  • number
  • bar
  • chart
  • year
  • first year
  • second year
  • more
  • less
  • higher
  • lower
  • highest
  • lowest
  • total
  • average
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • up
  • down
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • compare
  • across
  • in
  • to
  • from
  • during
  • year one
  • year two
  • largest
  • smallest
  • top
  • bottom
  • within
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