IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

While some think that the problem with education in poor countries is the teaching methodology used, others believe it is the lack of resources that is the real issue. Discuss both sides

There is a considerable debate about whether
low
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the low
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 academic performance of students in economically disadvantaged nations is attributed to
methods
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the methods
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 employed or
shortage
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the shortage
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 of resources.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives. Advocates of the former opinion give several reasons to support their argument. One key factor is that some teachers in financially underprivileged countries use outdated pedagogical approaches.
In other words
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, they tend to
utilize
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utilise
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rote
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the rote
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memorization
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memorisation
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 technique, which undermines problem-solving and critical thinking.
For instance
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, in the majority of South Asian
contries
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countries
, teachers only read texts and require learning things by heart.
Moreover
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, poor teacher training often leads to ineffective lessons and
decline
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a decline
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 in the
overall
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 quality of education. Schools in some African nations do not
emphasize
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emphasise
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 on development of teachers.
Nevertheless
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, there are those who agree with the latter view
and
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, and
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 they provide a number of causes to back up their claims. First and foremost, when basic facilities,
such
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 as
classroms
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classrooms
, textbooks, electricity, and even desks are insufficient, pupils struggle to achieve academic success.
For example
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, most educational institutions in central Africa lack
such
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 resources.
Furthermore
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, inadequate funding results in
shortage
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a shortage
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 of pedagogical salaries, school infrastructure, and materials. In conclusion, some believe teaching methods are the main problem in low-income countries,
whereas
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 others argue that
deficiency
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the deficiency
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 of
resouces
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resources
 plays
more
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a more
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 crucial role in
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the substabsard
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substabsard
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substandard
 education level.

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task response
Add more details for each idea. Explain why the view is right or wrong and add more examples.
coherence
Make each paragraph start with a clear main idea sentence and use linking words to connect ideas.
grammar
Check spell and grammar. Fix errors like contries, resouces, classroms. Use correct spellings.
lexical resource
Use simple but exact words. Keep to common phrases for clarity.
structure
Balance the two sides with equal weight and avoid too many general claims.
content
You discuss both sides, which is good.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
coherence
You use some linking words to join ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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