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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart compares the number of
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kilometers
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kilometres
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, in billions,
traveled
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travelled
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 by passengers on five
modes
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 of
transport
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 in the UK in two separate years, including the total
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kilometers traveled
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kilometres travelled
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.
Overall
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, the changes in the
distance
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traveled
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travelled
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 by all
modes
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 of
transport
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 were minimal, resulting in a slight increase in the total
distance
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 covered. Increases were observed in air, bus, and rail travel,
while
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 decreases occurred in bicycle and motorbike usage. Despite these shifts, bus and rail remained by far the most popular
modes
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 of
transport
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 in the UK. The
distance
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traveled
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travelled
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 by bike, motorbike, and air was significantly lower compared to other
modes
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 of
transport
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. In 1990, bicycles covered approximately 6
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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,
while
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 motorbikes
traveled
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travelled
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 slightly more, at around 7
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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. By the second year, both had declined to around 5
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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.
In contrast
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, air travel increased from about 4
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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 to roughly 7
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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, showing an upward trend. The
distance
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 covered by bus and rail was orders of magnitude higher. The former accounted for around 47
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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, with a slight increase of just 1
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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. The latter ended at the same figure, though it started at a lower level of around 45
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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.
As a result
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 of these changes, the total
distance
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 covered increased from about 110
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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 to 115
billion
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kilometers
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kilometres
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometers, modes, transport, distance, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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