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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of immigrants to 3 different countries (USA, Canada, Australia) from 1991 to 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph presents data on the number of foreign-born residents of the USA, Canada, and Australia between 1991 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that the quantity of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 in the three countries ranged dramatically
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the years
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the number of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 in the USA experienced an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 Canada and Australia's
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 plummeted and oscillated, respectively.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram, the number of people from other nations who settled in the USA was around 1100 in the beginning, consistently rising from onward. About 2200 overseas people dwelled in
this
Linking Words
 nation in 1997, reaching its peak at 2500 in 2000, remaining the same
subsequently
Linking Words
. The pattern was
reverse
Replace the word
reversed
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 for Australia, having over 2500
immigrants
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 before 1992, sharply decreasing to 500 in 1995 and
plateaued
Wrong verb form
plateauing
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 until the end. As for Canada, its
immigrants
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 underwent fluctuations over the period, growing from
appfroximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 500 in 1991 to roughly 2400 after 3 years. The nation had a rapid drop from 1993 to
1996
Punctuation problem
1996,
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 at nearly 1100. Following
the
Correct article usage
apply
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a three-year stagnation, the data line shows a significant growth at just over 1500 till 2000, continuing to climb.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words immigrants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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