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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ as to whether people are born with certain talents or whether they can be taught to become accomplished athletes or musicians. In my view, both innate ability and persistent effort are indispensable for achieving success. An NBA player once remarked, “Hard
work
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 beats
talent
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 when
talent
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 fails to
work
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 hard.” Indeed, diligence is a crucial ingredient in becoming a skilled athlete or musician. In the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare,
although
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 the tortoise naturally moves slowly, his perseverance enabled him to win the race. The hare,
however
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, lost not because of a lack of
talent
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 but
due to
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 laziness and arrogance—traits that often undermine gifted
individuals
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.
This
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 illustrates
that
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that,
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 regardless of natural ability, dedication and discipline are imperative for success.
Moreover
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, history provides countless examples of ordinary
individuals
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 who, through sheer determination, managed to outperform those with greater natural gifts.
Nevertheless
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, hard
work
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 alone is insufficient.
Talent
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 is another pivotal factor in determining whether one can rise to prominence in sports or music. Consider the case of trainees in Korea
:
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;
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 thousands undergo rigorous training every year, aspiring to become singers or dancers. Yet, with limited opportunities, only those who combine natural
talent
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 with persistence eventually succeed. In
such
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 a competitive entertainment industry, it is extremely difficult for
individuals
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 without innate ability to reach the top.
Similarly
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, in professional sports, natural physical advantages
such
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 as height or agility often give athletes a decisive edge, even when training conditions are equal. In conclusion,
while
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 hard
work
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 can enable less talented
individuals
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 to surpass others, I firmly believe that
talent
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 is
also
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 indispensable. In today’s world, success requires a synergy of both natural gifts and unwavering dedication. Only by combining these two elements can people truly excel in their chosen fields and leave a lasting impact.

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planning
Choose one clear view in the start and keep it in the essay. The text talks about two sides, but say more on your own view.
development
Use simple and short ideas. Add a few strong examples that fit your main point.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like and, but, also so. Make the link easy to follow.
accuracy
Check small word form and spelling to be sure the sentence is clear.
strength
Clear view on the topic.
strength
Good use of real life examples.
strength
Reasonable flow from one idea to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
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