Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether or not countries should develop their living standard by economic development is now a debate. The writer,
however
, advocates that the benefits of enhancing educational background Linking Words
along with
reducing the unemployment rate totally outweigh the cost of widening the rich gap.
It must be acknowledged that the improvements in the economy can act as an incentive for Linking Words
education
. Use synonyms
That is
to say, a nation with a solid financial background will allocate to various aspects of Linking Words
citizen’s
lives, and their main focus is on Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
education
as Use synonyms
education
is the main way to gain fundamental knowledge required for Use synonyms
further
demands in the workspace. Linking Words
Therefore
, without Linking Words
education
, countries can not develop their specific aims in the economy, leading to a cease in the financial output. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, nations will distribute more in educational status, meaning that more Linking Words
people
are able to get access to study.
Another point that should be taken into consideration is to reduce the rate of unemployment. To be more specific, economic enhancement parallels job prospects as citizens will have more money to find their own business, which needs employees to maintain and improve. Use synonyms
This
leads to a phenomenon that jobless individuals can seek a suitable occupation, Linking Words
thus
, they will have money to manage their own lives Linking Words
along with
their family. Take Japan as an example where numerous Linking Words
people
can get rid of joblessness owing to small companies established by dwellers.
Some Use synonyms
skeptics
, Change the spelling
sceptics
nevertheless
, contend that the rich gap between Linking Words
people
will become noticeable. Use synonyms
This
belief is based on the fact that the rich will always be rich in the financial market because of their solid position in the financial market Linking Words
while
the unprivileged ones are unable to maintain a decent revenue as the unpredictable changes in daily lives Linking Words
such
as pandemics or bankrupt that they cannot manage Linking Words
due to
the lack of financial background. Linking Words
This
point may be credible, but authorities nowadays have a policy to subsidize Linking Words
people
with basic needs Use synonyms
such
as accommodations, travel, and finances so that Linking Words
people
can fully focus on earning money, leading to an increase in Use synonyms
overall
rise in the economy of one city.
Linking Words
To conclude
, the benefits of getting access to Linking Words
education
and increasing job opportunities outweigh the drawbacks of the rich gap becoming bigger. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
this
essay should have shown that it is more beneficial to improve economic status.Linking Words
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clarity
Try to refine some of the arguments for better clarity. For example, the explanation of how economic development leads to better education could be more concise and precise.
readability
Simplify some of the complex sentences to improve readability. Breaking down long sentences into shorter ones can help convey your ideas more clearly.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported throughout. For example, the paragraph on unemployment could be better aligned to stress its connection to economic development.
examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, like the mention of Japan, which help illustrate the points made.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific points, and a conclusion.
arguments
The arguments presented are mostly logical and relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?