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Writing Samples
Band 7

MANY CITIES CONTAIN OLD PUBLIC BUILDINGS,SUCH AS TOWN HALLS ANFF ART GALLERIES,WHICH ARE EXPENSIVE TO REPAIR.SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT GOVERNMENTS SHOULD REPLACE THESE BUILDINGS WITH NEWS ONES.OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE OLD BUIldings discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is known that growing cities' infrastructure is quite important since communities can perceive great progress whether those are new facilities or renewed older ones.
Although
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, people often prefer to see new buildings that bring a completely new sight-seeing for locals
while
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 others just consider it a money-wasting
thus
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 old edifice could be enhanced.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I agree with having brand-new constructions
instead
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 of renovating old ones.
Firstly
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, communities seek to transform their city mainly for appearance. For some citizens, by creating mesmerizing buildings
such
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 as big skyscrapers, enormous stadiums or enigmatic town halls, they could feel their pride since highly satisfied. And, even though, it means paying higher taxes, they are wide open to do so.
Secondly
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, there are others who are more attached to their city roots.
Hence
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, having an old infrastructure remodelled could be a smarter decision.
This
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 is not always the best practice,
for instance
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, in 2011 a well-known stadium in Miami downtown was transformed into a whole new sports facility where football fans could witness their favourite game.
However
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, security standards were rejected
as a result
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 of several evaluations from architecture experts that argued that the building foundations were not strong enough and may represent a life threat for the visitors. Eventually, the building was demolished and now the city has financial issues in order to put up a new stadium. In my opinion and
to conclude
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, cities must be aware
that is
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 not only about budget cuts or savings
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 about security matters aimed at themselves. I do believe that having more modern infrastructure will put the right ground in a long-term vision for communities as they can feel safer and prouder.

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Grammar
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'sight-seeing', 'an old infrastructure', and 'aimed at themselves'. Polishing these can make your essay more professional.
Support
While your response is complete and addresses both views, try to integrate more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will add depth to your argument.
Transitions
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader.
Structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps present your opinion effectively.
Content
Your main points are logical and you do a good job addressing both perspectives on the issue.
Argumentation
You clearly state your opinion and support it with relevant reasoning, which helps in fulfilling the task response criterion.
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