The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020.

The bar chart given shows data about the percentages of Iceland's citizens by age from 1990 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the provided data shows
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
for
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, younger
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
show a decline. Older individuals
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
relatively stable across the chart. The percentage of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
aged from 25 to 54 starts from just over 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 1990 and
then
Linking Words
grew steadily from 1990 to 2010 until it reached
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
with just below 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2020.
In contrast
Linking Words
, younger
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
aged 0 to 24 had decreased steadily over the time period
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
both
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
an all-time
lowest
Replace the word
low
show examples
in 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, older people aged 55 and over remained relatively stable
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
arounf
Correct your spelling
around
10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
across the chart. Only people aged 55 to 64
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
a
little
Correct word choice
slight
show examples
decrease, starting from just over 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
Ireland
Wrong verb form
the Irish
show examples
population in 1990 to just a little below 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2020.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: