IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that museums should be free, whereas others find that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #museums #entry #fee
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Some individuals believe that there should be some charges for entrance to
museums
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that there should be free
access
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 to
museums
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 without any
fees
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.
Although
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 having free
access
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 to
museums
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 can encourage more
visitors
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, I believe that institutions which charge
fees
Use synonyms
 provide them with a necessary and steady
source
Use synonyms
 of income, enabling them to maintain and improve their collections and facilities. Having free
access
Use synonyms
 to
museums
Use synonyms
 can encourage more
visitors
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that people who are from less advantaged socio-economic backgrounds and underprivileged societies can visit there and in any other case they are unable to afford high entry charges. When there are no ticket prices, it encourages a lot of individuals to visit exhibitions as compared with the time of admission
fees
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, a national museum in Britain shows the arrival rate is higher during the time when there is no ticket price
while
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tendency
Correct article usage
the tendency
show examples
 among
visitors
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 to make excursions during paid time periods is decreased.
However
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, I believe that free
museums
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 can struggle with funding for maintenance, acquisitions, and quality exhibitions. Charging
fees
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 by
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 them with a regular
source
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 of income which they can utilise towards furnishing of building and providing more facilities.
This
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 is because cultural and historical buildings require huge amounts of money to perform their functions without any obstructions. There are two sources of these funds one is donation and the other one is
earnings
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. To manage these buildings successfully, alone donation did not serve the purpose,
earnings
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 from sources will be required as well and entry
fees
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the main
source
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 of
earnings
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 in the case of these institutions.
For example
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, one research study shows that in order to run
museums
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 efficiently and effectively, they should have regular sources of money
such
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 as admission
fees
Use synonyms
,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, donation is a non-recurring
source
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.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason, I believe that buildings should charge entry
fees
Use synonyms
 which ensures their
source
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 of
earnings
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. In conclusion,
although
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 free
access
Use synonyms
 increases the number of
visitors
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 to
museums
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, I believe that the collection of admission
fees
Use synonyms
 provides institutions with a significant
source
Use synonyms
 of income which
further
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 helps them to improve their facilities.
Submitted by Kirandeepkaur on

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structure
Make sure to provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea.
cohesion
Use varied and advanced connectives to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
examples
Consider expanding on your examples with more detail and analysis to strengthen your arguments.
opinion
Ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, to meet the task response requirement more fully.
structure
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both sides of the argument, which is a key requirement of the task.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and the reasons behind it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public institutions
  • accessible
  • cultural and historical heritage
  • financial barriers
  • less advantaged socio-economic backgrounds
  • inclusive society
  • maintenance
  • acquisitions
  • quality exhibitions
  • steady source of income
  • overcrowding
  • enjoyable experience
  • moderate
  • sustainable funding
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